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Starting again after being widowed

(6 Posts)
Steffa Fri 05-Dec-14 00:38:21

Hi All,
I have never posted before in relationships, so here goes.
I am wondering whether anyone has any advice they could offer on on - line dating or dating in general. I am in my late 40,s and I was widowed very suddenly nearly 3 years ago. I have 2 dc,s, one in secondary school and the other in primary school.
Life has been a hard struggle since my DH died, but I feel that I am ready to think about meeting someone. Trouble is, I don,t know how to. Most of my friends are happily coupled up. I am the first person in my friendship group to be widowed, and while friends have been supportive, I often feel a bit like a spare wheel if I am invited anywhere with them.
I also feel that a lot of people ( family etc) would be shocked to think that I am considering dating again , so I don,t really want to shout about it too much or ask if anyone knows any nice single men.
Can anyone suggest any online dating sites that I could try ? Ideally , I would like to meet someone nice for a relationship.

Darkesteyes Fri 05-Dec-14 00:51:22

Hi. Firstly im sorry to hear of your loss. Ive never online dated so cant recommend any sites but i have read the dating threads on here and there are a lot of sharks using some of the sites unfortunately.

Darkesteyes Fri 05-Dec-14 00:53:45

Why would your family be shocked to hear you are dating again OP You wouldnt be cheating so whats the problem. Cant help wondering if a widowed man would come up against the same attitude.

MargotThreadbetter Fri 05-Dec-14 00:57:48

Agree with Darkest - there are a lot of players doing on line dating, I'd read the threads here before jumping in!
Also, as your late DH was presumably a good man, you may be a little too trusting as I was and got burnt a couple of times.
The paid sites are said to be better than the free ones, but there are chancers on them all unfortunately.
Hope you get lucky though!

Darkesteyes Fri 05-Dec-14 01:01:33

There are websites called Meet Ups where you meet like minded people you have things in common with and can make new friends. That could be a start.

daisychain01 Fri 05-Dec-14 05:27:34

The best advice I can give, having been in your situation myself is, by all means try online dating. Be selective, take it steady and treat any relationship exactly as you would conventional dating, recognising the fake player from the sincere person based on their behaviour not things they say. That takes time, don't rush headlong into anything.

Try not to replace or compare to your late DH, look for the new, in the person you date. They are unique.

Good luck.

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