I'm a full time uni student with a flexible hours job I do on the side. I'm allowed to work one shift a week however if I work a weekday I only earn £52. If I work a Sunday I earn £102 for the same number of hours. So naturally I started to work Sundays. Then last week dp complained that he didn't like this set up as it meant his day off (Sunday) was spent running around after the kids (my two and his two, all teens above the age of 14 so not much running around realistically!) and he didn't see why I just didn't work weekday instead. I explained the difference in pay so he said I had to be mindful of balancing family life with making money and it's not all about how much we can earn etc.
fast forward to last night and I told him I was considering working Friday this week instead if Sunday so we can have Sunday together and do the house up for Christmas. Well he went off on one, said I couldn't just decide I couldn't be arsed to work Sundays, said I needed to chip in with finances and said it was unfair of me to tell him I'm working Sunday only to swap it to a Friday????!!! I said last week you didn't want me working Sundays and he denied that and said he preferred me making more money on a Sunday. It just doesn't make sense. To top it all off he went and booked Friday off work to encourage me to work Sunday!! The paranoia in me is saying he must have had something planned for Sunday that I wasn't to get in the way of otherwise why the sudden change of heart and extreme reaction to me working Friday one week instead of Sunday??
It just seems that no matter what I do I'm in the wrong. There are other things going on too which makes me wonder if he actually likes me at all never mind loves me. We're supposed to be getting married in 2016 yet the other day he sprung the comment "well if we can't afford it maybe we're not ready?" (What with a whole year if saving up and me saying I want a cheap, quick wedding?)
He says we can pay to have the house on a deed of trust to protect my rights but we can't do it until he has £2k back in the bank which he's laid out to keep us out of the overdraft yet whenever I try to pay any if it back he stops me and says he'd rather us enjoy ourselves rather than save up money (yet the deed of trust thing supposedly relies on these savings been put back?)
He's constantly making little remarks about my past ("why didn't one of your other blokes teach the kids how to fix bikes?") as if I've had a long line of men in my life .... He denies all of this of course. Says I'm being dramatic and trying to start arguments.
One thing I wonder is why he's so obsessed with ME making money when his ex wife never worked a day in her life and he was fine with that? It just feels like he hates me sometimes.
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Dp's mind games. Does he really dislike me or what?
17 replies
Bogwasher · 03/12/2014 16:29
OP posts:
FabULouse ·
03/12/2014 20:03
This reply has been deleted
Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.