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Do you think he likes me..?

(79 Posts)
DoesThisMeanAnything Tue 02-Dec-14 20:29:41

I know, I know... I'm not 15 really... I don't even know if I want him to. I'm currently resolutely single. But I am curious as to what you make of this, if anything. Largely just because I'm trying to understand the signs and signals of this sort of thing and need to know if there are any here. Or not.

I'm aware it isn't really very much of anything written down, and that much of this sort of thing is in the subtle nuances of non verbal communication/body language/expression that I can't convey here, but here goes...

I started a job earlier in the year and share an office with a colleague. There is a man who comes into our workplace twice weekly for a couple of hours at a time to work with clients. He's been coming in for a while, but our paths have only crossed since August.

He always pops into our office for a chat. I don't think he flirts with me, but he and I have definitely had chats that have recently become more personal (not really intimate, and certainly not 'inappropriate', although we have shared aspects of our personal lives. Eg. I know he's single and has a child), whereas his chats with my colleague don't ever leave the professional realm (we work in a 'caring profession' so a lot of the professional chat is quite 'emotional' and emotive anyway). When I am not in the office they chat, but she always tells me that he has asked after me. When she's not in we chat, but he doesn't ever ask after her.

About a month ago, he brought in a couple of books to lend me that he thought I'd be interested in based on a chat we'd had the week before. I didn't know he was going to do this. And last week, he gave me a daft little 'gift'. No great effort was involved, it was more of a 'token' than anything. But still, he did it. There was a small amount of good natured teasing, too, but that was it. My colleague teases me with mock indignation that he has 'forgotten' her...

So that's it really. What do you make of it? Just friendly, or could he be interested? (Be honest, but kind - feeling very fragile and uncertain of this sort of thing at the moment! Thanks)

ThirdPoliceman Tue 02-Dec-14 20:51:14

I think he likes you!

holdyourown Tue 02-Dec-14 20:52:18

yes I think he likes you and you like him smile

MiniTheMinx Tue 02-Dec-14 21:07:17

He likes you smile so what happens next? It all sounds so normal and nice and well you like him?

HumblePieMonster Tue 02-Dec-14 21:12:04

does he do this with everyone?

MMcanny Tue 02-Dec-14 21:12:17

I think he like you. Xmas card? Phone number in it? Or is that too much? lol. Is he going to your work night out? This could lead somewhere...maybe...if you want it to. Exciting.

Tobyjugg Tue 02-Dec-14 21:15:57

Oh he likes you.

DoesThisMeanAnything Tue 02-Dec-14 21:17:54

Ha. Yeah, I don't know. I don't know if I like him. I mean I like him. But I don't know if I like him. I don't very often 'fancy' people on sight alone and we haven't really had the opportunity for very lengthy chats. But I think we'd get on from what I've seen so far.

I wasn't really sure. I've always been used to men being quite overt about things. To the extent of making me feel a little uncomfortable and he's not like that. So I wasn't sure whether these things were just friendliness... Nice to read that it's nice and normal!

He knows I'm single too.

So, do you think these things are him testing the water? I think I'd probably like the chance to get to know him better.

DoesThisMeanAnything Tue 02-Dec-14 21:24:32

Humble No, he doesn't do it with everyone. I don't want to say too much, but, due to the nature of his work, he only really comes into contact with a few of us at work. All women. And he doesn't do it with them. My colleague and I are the only ones he chats to in our place. He goes round to other places in a similar capacity. I've obviously got no idea if he's like it with anyone else. But he's not crass, or flirty, or 'blokey'.

MMcanny No, he's not coming on our work night out. I could give him a Christmas card, I suppose, but I wouldn't put my number in it! The very thought! I kind of think I'd rather it came from him. Which is odd, because normally I wouldn't be bothered about that. grin

Toby smile That sounds rather certain.

MadeMan Tue 02-Dec-14 21:35:50

He definitely likes you, but that doesn't necessarily mean that he fancies the pants off you; at least not yet.

You might just be in his "she seems nice, I'll put her in the maybe pile" stage at the moment and then he'll see how things continue to develop.

MiniTheMinx Tue 02-Dec-14 21:39:53

He sounds like a nice decent kind man who is probably testing the water, he wants you to like him. That's nice and normal. I am inclined to think that decent men do not act all crass and blokey.

I'm like you I would wait for him to ask or give me his number but you can nudge him in the right direction wink

DoesThisMeanAnything Tue 02-Dec-14 21:41:57

Thanks, MadeMan. I suspect that probably is where I am.

And, if I'm honest, that's probably where he is for me, too.

DoesThisMeanAnything Tue 02-Dec-14 21:45:26

Mini I think he probably is a nice, decent man.

DoesThisMeanAnything Tue 02-Dec-14 21:46:54

So how do you 'nudge' things?

I would want things to progress really quite slowly.

MadeMan Tue 02-Dec-14 21:52:55

"But he's not crass, or flirty, or 'blokey'."

To be honest, most men aren't going to walk into a workplace full of women and start acting all blokey and crass; flirty yes; shy perhaps. It would be an eye opener if you could see how he behaves around other men; that could be a good indicator of whether he's just putting on the gentlemen act for the benefit of you and your female colleagues.

Also, if there are no men in your workplace, then it means he's got to find someone to chat with and that, it seems, is you OP.

MiniTheMinx Tue 02-Dec-14 21:53:06

Make him feel that you are pleased to see him, make him feel like a confident man standing in front of a woman who likes him.

Ask about something local- Christmas lights or a local band, something that is happening, and mention that you would like to go. Find out if he likes films, and then a few weeks later mention a film and say you would love to go but don't have anyone to go with you. Just drop hints and see if he picks up on it.

mooth Tue 02-Dec-14 22:13:01

How about 'we must have a drink together sometime'.

That used to work for me, back in the day....

DoesThisMeanAnything Tue 02-Dec-14 22:16:33

No, perhaps, MadeMan. There are a few other men in my workplace, just not who he comes into contact with. I agree, I wouldn't know what he's like around other men.

It's not the chatting I was wondering about really. I talk to pretty much everyone. It was the other stuff. I wasn't sure if it indicated a level of interest above friendly chat at work.

Blimey, Mini. That feels like a terribly tall order! grin I'll try...

I suppose, ideally, it would be nice to go out for something over the Christmas holidays.

MiniTheMinx Tue 02-Dec-14 22:18:43

I hope you are going to keep us posted grin

DoesThisMeanAnything Tue 02-Dec-14 22:21:04

Oh yeah, that's a good idea, mooth wink would kind of like it to come from him though really. If it's going to.

I asked out the last man I went on a date with. I would just be nice to be asked!

VerityWaves Tue 02-Dec-14 22:21:09

He likes you

DoesThisMeanAnything Tue 02-Dec-14 22:22:14

Ha, well will see him later on this week, but doubt there'd be any progress.

I will update though if anything happens smile

mooth Tue 02-Dec-14 22:26:38

Okay so say something like 'well I definitely need a large G and T/glass of wine/plate of cheesy chips/whatever after today!' Then he can say 'yes, me too, let me buy you one'....

I'm getting quite excited about this!

MadeMan Tue 02-Dec-14 22:28:21

Mini has got the right idea if you want to find out his level of interest, DoesThis. Drop some big hints about wanting to see a film/christmas lights and not having anyone to go with; that's the kind of thing you will have to do if you want to prise his true intentions out of him. Don't say it like, "I have nobody to go to the film with, but I was thinking maybe of otherwise asking my sister" ; that will likely put him off and he'll just let you go with your sister. Never introduce possible alternatives; make it clear you have absolutely nobody to go with and you won't go alone.

Lending you books is a good sign though. smile

DoesThisMeanAnything Tue 02-Dec-14 22:36:11

Oh no, don't get excited! Argh, the pressure!

Mm, might be time to start thinking then...

Thanks for all the advice and, if anything happens, I'll let you know.

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