Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

boyfriend doesn't look at me during sex

(13 Posts)
qweihdihgsd Tue 02-Dec-14 16:00:56

I'm not expecting a staring contest, but he pretty much never looks at me during sex, and I find this a bit odd. Hopefully i'm just being paranoid. 90% of time time, we do it with him behind me, so it's not like there is loads of opportunity to look at each other, but if I turn around, he's usually staring at the ceiling (!). Maybe he is just concentrating? Or maybe he'd rather be somewhere else

Fudgeface123 Tue 02-Dec-14 16:02:22

My DP doesn't look at me during sex either but that's because I laughed once at his orgasm face grin

BitOutOfPractice Tue 02-Dec-14 16:04:33

He might be trying to hold off orgasming

Vitalstatistix Tue 02-Dec-14 16:04:35

Talk to him about it.
Is the from behind thing his preference?
Really, you need to sit down and have a chat about it, about how you feel, ask how he feels and talk about what you would like.
You're going to hear all sorts - he's thinking of someone else, it's a fetish, it's nothing, you're paranoid, he's gay, it's normal, it's not normal, blah blah blah but really the truth is nobody can know what's going on - you need to talk to him.

LittleRedRidingHoodie Tue 02-Dec-14 16:09:55

I had an ex like this. I have no idea why he did it but it made me feel bad. I commented once, when he was finished, that he could leave the money on the side. It was an ott comment but that's how bad it made me feel in the end. I feel for you. Maybe make a bit of a fuss about how occasional eye contact turns you on?

dirtybadger Tue 02-Dec-14 16:10:46

What vital said. Could be all sorts of things ranging from it indicating a problem to him not wanting to finish too early or feeling vulnerable. Ask sensitively and see what the reason is.

qweihdihgsd Tue 02-Dec-14 16:17:05

The from behind thing is my preference and his (generally initiated by me) so it's not that he's going out of the way to avoid looking at me

I think the person who said he's holding off orgasm might be right. He can control his orgasm really well, because he always waits until I have once or twice (sorry for TMI) before he 'finishes'.

We do have a great sex life, we do it most days and general the person who initiates it is him 50% of the time and me 50% of the time. We are both sexual people and enjoy our intimate time, but it's just the fact that he rarely looks at me that I find a bit strange! I probably should talk to him about it but I didn't want to sound paranoid. He won't mind though, he'll probably just laugh at me when I tell him.

Sorry this has been a weird post, tried to respond to everyone's replies!

maras2 Tue 02-Dec-14 16:47:45

When we were first at it 47 years ago Dh had to avoid my gaze to prevent a too quick ending.He had to concentrate on alternating between conjugating latin verbs and remembering chronologically the Presidents of the USA. <still only lasted 5 minutes though in those days > grin Much better now though at the grand age of 64 < and can't remember any latin and can only remember Nixon > grin.Have a chat and a laugh about it and I'm sure It'll be fine.

qweihdihgsd Tue 02-Dec-14 16:53:36

ookay so I bit the bullet and asked him just now (he's abroad on a business trip and we were texting whilst he had a break between meetings) and he said that he does it because he's tensing up to orgasm (TMI sorry) and he said that I was silly for even thinking that I wouldn't want to look at him because he said he loves looking at me smile

qweihdihgsd Tue 02-Dec-14 16:54:16

oh and he also said that I grab pillows and cover my face when I'm finishing, so it would seem that I'm a hypocrite and I don't even know it!

maras2 Tue 02-Dec-14 16:55:08

Ahh.Thought so.Sounds like a keeper <like mine > latin verbs or not. smile

qweihdihgsd Tue 02-Dec-14 16:59:07

Yeah he was so sweet about it smile he doesn't always have a great way with words, but I should've just asked him in the first place. Maras2 that's hilarious!

Fluffyears Tue 02-Dec-14 18:44:04

I think a lot of men think about other things to slow it down a bit. Have you ever thought that he funds you so sexy he'd probably not last long?

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: