I've always had a good relationship with my mum, although she has always had low self-esteem and remained in an emotionally abusive relationship with my Dad up until 2 years ago. I suffered his abuse too.
Then, literally straight away, she met a new partner. I've supported her from the beginning and have said all along that I'm just glad she's happy. He seems nice at times, strange at others, very quiet with a unique sense of humour. He doesn't abuse my mum emotionally and seems to respect her.
However, mum has changed a lot. She likes everything he likes and moved 200 miles to live with him after 12months. She has a good job and moved to another region at work too. He doesn't work. Apparently cant find any. His family dramas (kids and ex wife) appear to dominate her life and he's madr little effort to be part of her family, or so it seems. He's always busy sorting out some sort of family problem whenever a visit to see us looms!
Anyway, mum's lost herself in this lusty relationship and seems irrational a lot of the time and I just cant work him out! Mum says it would be easier for both of them to visit us (due to finances) if they could stay with us when they visit rather than in a hotel. I have a 5 month old baby and I just cant seem to weigh this bloke up or feel I know him enough for him to stay under the same roof as my child. Am I being paranoid? When my daughter was born he shed a tear as he held her and after meeting him so little, I just found this weird. Am I being hard on him and my mum? How would you feel?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Mum's Boyfriend: would you let him stay?
sugarsinner · 30/11/2014 20:01
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