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Me and my girlfriend are in the verge of break up?

(11 Posts)
Chalkleew Sat 29-Nov-14 19:39:49

Me and my girlfriend are both 22 have been together 2 and a half years and she has a little girl of 4 who I love so much as much as I love my girlfriend.

In the past 4 months are relationship has took a turn for the worst. May I add for the last 3 months she has a new job that mean she has to work late nights and me and her daughter do not get to see her anymore really.

Since being there she also has made knew friends. The other day I confronted her a told her that I basically don't see her no more and she does not care about me anymore. She told me that she felt old in are relationship and wants to go out with friends more often. I told her I'm leaving her and she didn't seem bothered she just said well sometimes people just grow apart. After hearing her attitude to this I told her that she is not showing no fight for us so it says everything really but she then said you know what I'm like I will not show my true feelings and I know she is like this it drives me crazy and its not good at times like this because it seem like she does not give a shit.

She said she loves me and want to be with me but just wants to spend sometime with her friends as well.

She also has a sexual issue as she hardly has sex with me once every 2 months maybe I have asked her if she is not attracted to me anymore and she insist this is not it. She is also not the type of girl that would cheat on me.

After I confronted her she said that we could not make the decision today if we was going to stay together and we would chat in a few days.

So it's been a few days she had cuddled me every night after she gets in from work tells me she loves me kissing me and does the same every morning before work.

In the few days I have spoke briefly about it all but she is just quiet. This is her way of dealing with it she is so poker face and don't let on how she's feeling.

She told me this morning she don't want to talk about it no more and she feels I am pressuring her for a decision, but I just want to know where we both stand so we can get on with whatever we are doing.

To make this worst we are suppose to be going on holiday a week Monday on a cruise for 3 weeks. She said that we should go on this as it could sort us out and get back on track. So I obviously want to know where I stand for holiday and I don't want to go on holiday with false hope.

She said if I keep pressing her for a decision she will just tell me to fuck off in the end a get the hump and then she started being a cold hearted girl while I was trying to explain that I just want to know where we stand and that not communicating has got us in this situation and she is continuing.

I have come to the conclusion we should have a break before deciding to break up. I think she needs space and time to re evaluate what it is that she wants. I still want her and want to sort it out. I love her so much and her daughter.

I plan to leave Monday. I'm going to tell her when she comes in from work tonight. I know it could go pear shaped but least I have give it everything and every chance to work and give her space to decide what she wants.

What's are your thoughts.

Any help is greatly appreciated.


tribpot Sat 29-Nov-14 19:49:18

Sorry to ask you a mean question, OP, but is she using you for childcare?

It seems pretty obvious the relationship is over and you feel that too. But if she's working lates, how would she do that without someone else to watch her dd?

I do think the cruise would be an incredibly bad idea, with you desperate to know where you stand and her desperate to avoid the conversation, floating in the middle of the sea. Do you have insurance you could use if you had to cancel?

This is a very telling comment she said that we could not make the decision today if we was going to stay together and we would chat in a few days. Er, right - except (a) she doesn't get to call all the shots and (b) what difference would a few days make?

She's entitled to see her friends and inevitably the new job means there are some changes, but why isn't she making time for her dd?

I think moving out is the right thing to do.

Doubtfuldaphne Sat 29-Nov-14 20:22:57

Yes - get out of there! She's obviously not happy in the relationship but is terrified of how things will change as she relies on you. You deserve better.

brokenhearted55a Sat 29-Nov-14 20:27:34

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Happymum1985 Sat 29-Nov-14 20:38:32

Shes being horrible to you!! I understand its really difficult as you love her daughter, but you are only 22- you don't want to waste yourself in a relationship that will eat away at your self respect and confidence. I think you need to stand up to her- she can't call all the shots. Why don't YOU decide what YOU want. Goodluck.

deste Sun 30-Nov-14 10:58:27

She doesn't want to talk about it at the moment because she probably needs childcare this weekend. She is using you for a babysitter. Life is too short for people like this. When she said "she wasn't bothered any more and that people grow apart" she is telling you how it is, listen to her. She probably doesn't deserve you. Who paid for the holiday by the way? If it was you, take a friend with you instead.

Nomama Sun 30-Nov-14 11:03:54

So she is telling you that you have no right to know where you stand with her.

She is using emotional blackmail to keep you off balance.

Buck up, make that decision for yourself. Sod the holiday, write off the money if you have to, it would be worth it to regain your own life.

Good luck.

TheHoneyBadger Sun 30-Nov-14 11:11:27

need to know a few things - do you work? do you look after her dd enabling her to work? whose house is it and is it rented/owned? how old is she?

maras2 Sun 30-Nov-14 11:22:57

What kind of 3 week cruise appeals to 22 year olds? What kind of 'late night ' work does she do?

FunkyBoldRibena Sun 30-Nov-14 13:30:05

A cruise at 22?

LegoAdventCalendar Sun 30-Nov-14 13:37:10

Leave. Tonight. She's a mother, her going out with friends days are second fiddle to her child. She is using you for childcare.

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