I left the house with my 12 month old at 10am this morning. Husband wasn't in when we got home that afternoon and he's still not home. No text, phone all or anything from him. This is not ok, is it? Our relationship has been really difficult since our baby was born...
No, this is not ok. In a normal, happy relationship I'd be worried sick something bad had happened to my husband. In a troubled relationship I'd be properly pissed off that he'd just waltzed off leaving me to cope with everything.
He arrived home in the early hours of Saturday and we had a huge row when we got up... I'd been determined not to phone him because, if he couldn't be bothered telling me where he was then I didn't care where he was. Id spent some time worrying that he might be lying unconscious in hospital after some terrible accident too.
Anyway, we're trying to work out our way forward. Things have been bad for a while and we keep having these rows. It's complicated... I was just looking for a sanity check last night to confirm that it's not just me who thinks it's unreasonable/ totally thoughtless of him to disappear for hours without even letting me know where he's going or when he'll be back. Thanks to everyone who took the time to reply!
"if he couldn't be bothered telling me where he was then I didn't care where he was"
But you did care where he was so why not communicate.
I would have just called rather than sitting worrying where he was. My DW used to do this, go for drink after work & I'd be wondering where she was and it took a few times of this happening & me explaining that I'd like to know if she's going to be late home, so I don't wonder / worry
It takes 2 to have a conversation. You gain nothing by not asking him where he was or phoning when he was missing. You are playing a silly game. You are married not dating, so it's perfectly acceptable to phone your DH and ask where he is.
If you don't ask him then he may think it's perfectly ok to go AWOL.
Why don't you say what you think and want in a calm manner, instead of being passive aggressive and waiting for him to come home then erupt?