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This is not ok, is it?

(16 Posts)
NooNooMummy Fri 28-Nov-14 23:11:11

I left the house with my 12 month old at 10am this morning. Husband wasn't in when we got home that afternoon and he's still not home. No text, phone all or anything from him. This is not ok, is it? Our relationship has been really difficult since our baby was born...

sadwidow28 Fri 28-Nov-14 23:16:25

Do you have any way to contact your husband or a member of his family to make sure he is not injured or ill?

Windywinston Fri 28-Nov-14 23:16:31

It's not very respectful no. Have you tried calling?

makeitabetterplace Fri 28-Nov-14 23:17:39

No, this is not ok. In a normal, happy relationship I'd be worried sick something bad had happened to my husband. In a troubled relationship I'd be properly pissed off that he'd just waltzed off leaving me to cope with everything.

SeasonsEatings Fri 28-Nov-14 23:17:56

Could he have lost his phone? What time on a normal friday would he get home?

sadwidow28 Fri 28-Nov-14 23:18:32

Is your baby safe, settled and asleep?

Have you eaten this evening - if not, can you manage some toast?

jasper Fri 28-Nov-14 23:31:39

what happens when you ring his phone?

MrsKCastle Fri 28-Nov-14 23:32:54

How were things when you left? Had you argued? Did he say what he was planning to do today?

PrettyPictures92 Fri 28-Nov-14 23:40:24

Depends on if he's gone out and forgot to leave a note or something? Just disappearing without a word isn't right imo.

CogitoErgoSometimes Sat 29-Nov-14 08:13:28

It's a little thoughtless staying out all day and late at night without sending word to family where he is, but context is everything. When you say 'really difficult', what do you mean?

peasandlove Sat 29-Nov-14 08:23:47

I'm not sure I understand. Is he out somewhere that you know about or has he just disappeared?

Jolleigh Sat 29-Nov-14 09:26:41

Any word from him?


Are you ok op?....

NooNooMummy Sun 30-Nov-14 00:36:35

Thanks for the replies, everyone.

He arrived home in the early hours of Saturday and we had a huge row when we got up... I'd been determined not to phone him because, if he couldn't be bothered telling me where he was then I didn't care where he was. Id spent some time worrying that he might be lying unconscious in hospital after some terrible accident too.

Anyway, we're trying to work out our way forward. Things have been bad for a while and we keep having these rows. It's complicated... I was just looking for a sanity check last night to confirm that it's not just me who thinks it's unreasonable/ totally thoughtless of him to disappear for hours without even letting me know where he's going or when he'll be back. Thanks to everyone who took the time to reply!

jakesmith Sun 30-Nov-14 20:27:13

"if he couldn't be bothered telling me where he was then I didn't care where he was"

But you did care where he was so why not communicate.

I would have just called rather than sitting worrying where he was. My DW used to do this, go for drink after work & I'd be wondering where she was and it took a few times of this happening & me explaining that I'd like to know if she's going to be late home, so I don't wonder / worry

pinkfrocks Sun 30-Nov-14 20:33:03

Blimey- you both sound rather immature.

It takes 2 to have a conversation. You gain nothing by not asking him where he was or phoning when he was missing. You are playing a silly game.
You are married not dating, so it's perfectly acceptable to phone your DH and ask where he is.

If you don't ask him then he may think it's perfectly ok to go AWOL.

Why don't you say what you think and want in a calm manner, instead of being passive aggressive and waiting for him to come home then erupt?

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