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Taking control of your life....feels great!

(4 Posts)
runnergirl28 Fri 28-Nov-14 16:17:32

I am a 40 year old women with a beautiful 19 year old son and recently separated...well it's been 2 years still feels like yesterday. I decided last year I needed to remove all toxic relationships from my life and started to make my way through my list and stopped at one person...my father. He was the one person that needed to go and this is why in a Cole's notes version.
I have a father that is a misogynist and we have been working together for the past 14 years. I can not think of any other way to describe him, as horrible as it is. He only sees pleasure when I am being verbally and emotionally abused by him, that is when he smiles literally. We started a business together 14 years ago, key word together right? Or so I thought. He was void during 80% of my childhood maybe even more and when he wasn't it was a weekend father though he still went out to the pub with his friends and plopped me in front of the TV. Okay I totally got over that growing up it could have been much worse right? Read and you will see why, I sometimes think how I would have turned out had he been in my life and that is disturbing.

For the last 8 years his verbal abuse has increased dramatically, to the point of much needed therapy for myself, distress in my marriage which eventually lead to my separation, separation between family member (some not speaking to me), the loss of my house after my separation and put in financial strain well because he is my boss and he has control of what I am being paid, fighting back depression during all this. Side note: He allowed me to resign my mortgage with a promise that I would receive a good raise for all the hard work etc. Received my new mortgage and was told he never planned on giving me the raise and I quote " get a second job or sell the house with a smirk of course". Ofcourse these are only a few examples. The day I put my foot down was the day he shoved me out of his office and told me to F off, which was almost a year ago. That I did I f***ed off...off I f***ed emotionally that is. I told him that following week, I will not accept the nasty emails, scowls, yelling, silent treatment, disrespect in front of other employees/clients, you will not hold onto my paycheck and hold it tightly until I say thank you good enough for you, and I expect to be treated exactly as an employee. I was demoted no longer Office Manager/Estimator. I still receive all his crap EVERYDAY but I don't care anymore and I love it. He doesn't and he makes it known but whatever! I truly feel free.

I do not see him at all outside of work or talk to him about my life at all. I sold my house, paid off all debts and enjoying my new life with my new bf and the house we both share. I have enrolled in a few college courses and will be looking for a new job in the new year.

Feeling great! smile

nicenewdusters Fri 28-Nov-14 17:15:19

Bloody good for you !!

Wishing you all the best. As they often say on Mumsnet "Ignore, ignore, ignore...." Don't they hate it ?!

Bet you'll have a cracking good Christmas.

HumblePieMonster Fri 28-Nov-14 20:54:22

Good luck. A new job should make your life so much better. You've done well so far.

Meerka Fri 28-Nov-14 21:12:14

Go for it! Bloody well done. It's SO HARD to stand up to a bully and even harder when they're your father.

Hope you go from strength to strength =)

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