Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Feel different after having a baby

(7 Posts)
Mmolly2013 Fri 28-Nov-14 13:01:38

Been with my partner a long time now we are 25 and met at a young age. we recently had our first child and we live together.

We have never had an issue with love on both parts and when i was pregnant we were even more in love than ever
but since having the baby i feel slightly numb, i know in my heart i love him but i find it an effort to show him (not sex related), he often says i never hug or kiss him and he always initiates it. He says im slightly moody and snappy with him and as i said i just feel numb mentally.

My baby is fantastic, well behaved and ive never had any issues regarding the birth/baby etc

so why do i feel like his im confused.

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 28-Nov-14 13:38:29

How long ago did you have your baby. Giving birth is a really big life change that can be physically & mentally demanding. Even a relatively easy-going baby requires a lot of concentration and effort and you may not realise how much it's taking out of you. Some women talk about feeling 'touched out' if there's a lot of breastfeeding and co-sleeping. They don't want more physical contact with others.

Psychologically, being 100% responsible for another person can give you an entirely different perspective and make you less tolerant of others or re-examine things you might have taken for granted. PND can affect some people in ways they don't expect.

When you say you feel 'numb mentally' and you're moody and snappy, does the same apply to friends and family? Is it a general numbness that is affecting everything you do or just your relationship with your partner?

Mmolly2013 Fri 28-Nov-14 14:52:22

I thinks its to do with everyone really now that i think about it.

I just dont care about other people at the moment except the baby, he is 3 months old.

I feel fine otherwise so im not about pnd

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 28-Nov-14 15:01:27

I'm not a doctor but you're describing a few of the symptoms of depression. PND doesn't necessarily mean that you can't manage the baby or that you don't feel a connection, it just means there's a chemical imbalance in the aftermath of the birth. Please talk to your GP or HV.

ApocalypseThen Fri 28-Nov-14 20:48:16

Some women are just touched out at the end of a day caring for a baby, which is an intimate and physical job. As your baby becomes more independent you may feel less harassed by other people still needing you too.

Good luck!

Meerka Sat 29-Nov-14 09:32:01

I've felt strangely detached too in the last months (had baby seven months ago). It was really strong in the first months, it's starting to wear off now. Mostly I wanted them to keep their distance, it was odd and a bit concerning. (difficult preg tho). I wonder if it's something that happens to some people?

Make sure you talk to your other half about how you're feeling. If you don't want to be touched, reassure him with words that you appreciate and love him. Tell him it's everyone, certainly not him in particular, it's just that he's closest. It'll maybe take time.

Complicatedasever Sat 29-Nov-14 10:11:50

The fact that you recognise this change and acknowledge it is a really good sign. It's probably a reaction to what is after-all a major life event (emotionally and physically). It sounds like you and your partner have a strong relationship but you would be right to get proper advice from a health professional and not to ignore it.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now