Hi all,
New to this site so hope I follow all the rules. I had a quick look around and I noticed quite a few related topics so I hope you won't mind if I create another one.
Short story long, about a month ago I went through his phone out of curiosity. Call it a female intuition or gut feeling, I felt like our relationship had been up and down for a while, sex was happening barely once a month. I decided to follow my intuition and check his phone, boy what a mistake it was. The very first message I found was in his facebook messenger. There was a communication with a woman for about a year, pretty much from the same time we started dating. There seemed to be quite a lot of gaps, meaning they didn't text very often. About a few months ago he had started messaging again, asking how she is doing etc, they were talking about their relationships and so on. My bf wrote about me, that he's happy and all is fine but he wouldn't put a seal on it yet (strange, by that time we had already decided to try for a baby).
Anyways, bottom line is, that at some point he sent a very sexy message to her, quite a long one, where he recalled their past sexual relationship, mentioning how good she was, how he still get's turned on thinking back to what they did and how he regrets they didn't do it more. I was in pure shock and couldn't hide what my discovery from him. He obviously denied everything, saying that he had only tried to boost old mates ego by saying how great she was etc. I was mortified, felt like a complete rag. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind him having a past, we all have our past. Anyways, it took a few weeks talking, he still constantly denied everything, trying to tell me I'm a crazy lunatic and that I've taken that text completely out of context. I know what the context was and even if there were other circumstances or context I still think it was wrong. He only admitted he's done wrong when I packed my things and had arranged a friend to pick me up and stay with her. He admitted it was wrong and he doesn't even know himself why he had to say these things, he felt really sorry and guilty for causing me all this pain. I forgave him as I believe we all deserve a 2nd chance. I knew there was nothing physical going on between them because she lives in another country.
It's been over a month now, and he is really trying. But something has changed in me, I still love him and care about him but from time to time I get these awful angry feelings, like I'm falling into black hole, and the whole thing just comes back to my mind. I really want to make this work but I'm afraid if I can't get over it I might as well let him go. What do you think? Am I over reacting? How long would it take to get over it and will I learn to trust him again?
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16 replies
Marisol96 · 27/11/2014 16:30
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