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Why would someone ask to renew wedding vows so ‘early’ in marriage

(136 Posts)
ernestsjone Wed 26-Nov-14 20:02:16

My wife asked me if I would want to renew our marriage vows after about 7.5 years of marriage. We had 2 kids. This suggestion came out of the blue and I thought it seemed strange so ‘soon’ after getting married. I always thought this kind of thing was for 25 year+. We had a proper wedding so it’s not like she missed out on her ‘big day’

Recently I heard of a couple I know that have been married for about 6 years who renewed their vows after the wife had an affair; this kind of unsettled me. Obviously I don’t want to go accusing her based on what someone else did, so I’m just looking for female thoughts on renewing vows and why a loving wife would suggest such a thing at what seems to be a random time. Thanks

MajesticWhine Wed 26-Nov-14 20:03:54

For me it suggests an affair. Or maybe an emotional affair.

AnyFucker Wed 26-Nov-14 20:06:01

I can't see the point at all, personally

AnyFucker Wed 26-Nov-14 20:07:16

But yeah, I would have my suspicions

pocketsized Wed 26-Nov-14 20:07:22

We had a big day, and I wish we hadn't, I feel like it was all about making a fuss and not about what was important (being married.) DH and I are hopefully going to renew ours, on our own, and really focus on what it means for us. We've only been married 3 years....

PotteringAlong Wed 26-Nov-14 20:07:34

Why would you ever renew them? I thought the point was they were for life and didn't need renewing?'

mumof6needssanity Wed 26-Nov-14 20:08:13

Ive been married 10 years but have wanted to renew our vows for years. For me it is because my dh and I have no pleasant memories of our wedding day at all.
My dh's parents and sister did not want us to get married and made it very very clear for everyone see.

TheAlias Wed 26-Nov-14 20:08:21

I have never understood renewing vows.

Either you're the sort of person who takes vows seriously, so there's no need to make them more than once, or you're not, so there's no point making them at all.

Isn't she the best person to ask? Why does she say she wants to renew vows?

Goingintohibernation Wed 26-Nov-14 20:10:24

I'd just think maybe she wants another party. I really enjoyed my wedding day, and would be happy to renew my vows if it meant I could have another day like that. Is there another reason you think it could be suspicious?

Rantymop Wed 26-Nov-14 20:11:17

I'd like to renew mine after 4. But our wedding day was shit, all for my husband and his family/friends and I hated it. Dh doesn't want to.

Kundry Wed 26-Nov-14 20:12:59

I vaguely think about how it would be nice to do it every year - I loved my wedding but now would do things slightly differently. It would be great to have another excuse to do it again. And I've only been married 2 years.

Liara Wed 26-Nov-14 20:13:59

I wouldn't want to renew vows at all, but anything under 10 years would seem fairly ridiculous to me. 10 would still have me raise an eyebrow.

I would take it to mean that the wedding was awful and they wanted to have another go.

BuckskinnedAstronaut Wed 26-Nov-14 20:17:38

I've known people renew vows if they didn't really get the wedding day they wanted in some respect (other posters have given some examples upthread).

Also, slebs seem to do it at the drop of a hat if they haven't been featured in Hello for a few months, so I suppose it's inevitable that it will filter down sooner or later.

TheAlias Wed 26-Nov-14 20:17:40

If it's all about another party why not have a big anniversary do? I'd be worried that all the guests were assuming one of us had been unfaithful if we renewed vows TBH.

slithytove Wed 26-Nov-14 20:20:44

Funny I was just thinking about this today, I've been married two years. I too would assume she wants a party. Quite surprised you've assumed an affair, my brain wouldn't go to this at all.

How old are your kids and has it been a difficult few years?

Joysmum Wed 26-Nov-14 20:23:42

I've always quite fancied renewing ours, as the wedding wasn't as I'd had liked it and my hubby is still gutted we didn't get any cake as the wrong layer was cut.

I think it's very telling that you are so mistrusting of your wife's motives and feel the need to post about it here rather than just seeming surprised and asking her. Not good.

pinkpeoniesplease Wed 26-Nov-14 20:25:30

I agree with those saying they didn't enjoy their weddings that much so want to do it again.
Also I hate how I look in my wedding photos.

ChasedByBees Wed 26-Nov-14 20:28:11

If it's been a difficult time for any reason, she may want to reaffirm her vows. Or she may want a party. Or she may just be romantic. Or or or.

Just ask her. Don't jump to assuming an affair though.

SevenZarkSeven Wed 26-Nov-14 20:29:56

I'd quite like to do this, so would DH
Sort of in a nice thought but not actually do it IYSWIM
I'd like it to be just us though not for a party or anything

In our case it's because we're both rather soppy, nothing more sinister than that grin

SevenZarkSeven Wed 26-Nov-14 20:30:32

Yes what chased said, ask her!

simontowers2 Wed 26-Nov-14 20:34:28

Renewing wedding vows is an absolute load of bollocks. Seriously, how many couples would do it in private and not tell anybody else? I bet nobody does that. Renewing vows is just yet another aspect of our look-at-me, affected, shallow society.

simontowers2 Wed 26-Nov-14 20:35:16

And no OP, i dont reckon necessarily an affair by any means.

TheAlias Wed 26-Nov-14 20:35:51

Is it possible she thinks your vows need renewing and that's why you don't want to ask?!

MrGrumpy Wed 26-Nov-14 20:36:36

Uh oh, I have arranged for my wife and I to renew our vows on holiday, we have been married for 27.5 years, I thought it was romantic but maybe she won't see it like that!

cindydog Wed 26-Nov-14 20:37:29

I would say she wants a chance to dress up and have a party. Agree with simontowers2 , I could not even be arsed to get married.

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