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OD guy just passing the time of day?

(23 Posts)
HanselandGretel Wed 26-Nov-14 17:48:51

I recently went back OD and have had no luck, loads of guys I'm just not interested in about. I get a message over the weekend from someone who I like the look of, however since then we've been exchanging messages but his are of the 'have a nice day' and 'morning' type, no effort to get to know me and zero mention of meeting up. I've received the 'hope you've had a good day' message this afternoon but haven't bothered to reply...his profile say he's seeking a relationship but this aimless chit chat is pointless right, or should I give it more time? I'm getting so bored once again of the OD thing.

SassyPasty Wed 26-Nov-14 17:52:12

Have you suggested meeting?

Jan45 Wed 26-Nov-14 17:53:27

Perhaps he is trying to be cool and not over eager, why not ask if he's interested in meeting up and take it from there, don't write him off just yet.

HanselandGretel Wed 26-Nov-14 17:56:04

No, I'm going on his lack of real conversation and tbh I'm not impressed with his lack of effort.

HanselandGretel Wed 26-Nov-14 17:58:05

Could be that @Jan, but feels more like he just likes someone to chat to.

SassyPasty Wed 26-Nov-14 18:00:34

So is his effort disproportionate to your effort?

Why not suggest a coffee - a simple 'Hey, are you free on x day? Fancy a coffee?' If he faffs about then he is probably an OD 'chatter' rather than after grin

Take the bull by the horns!

SassyPasty Wed 26-Nov-14 18:01:18

After = dater hmm

pinkyredrose Wed 26-Nov-14 18:02:14

He's just not that into you.

HanselandGretel Wed 26-Nov-14 18:04:40

I've asked him questions etc and he's answered them but not asked me any in response...just talks about what he is doing 'e.g 'I'm off out for a meal'

Ok, I'll suggest a meet just for the sheer curiosity as to how he will respond grin

HanselandGretel Wed 26-Nov-14 18:06:10

@pinky - this is is mode of communication from the get go, he hasn't been all guns blazing and then trickled off - it's not about him really, more my frustration of the OD thing.

SassyPasty Wed 26-Nov-14 18:07:44

Good for you! I've done OLD in the past and found it better to be the date instigator rather than waiting for a request. Meeting up swiftly is a good idea - weeks of messages is just a big waste of time IMHO

Good luck thanks

HanselandGretel Wed 26-Nov-14 18:12:46

Thanks smile

anitimatter Wed 26-Nov-14 18:18:27

IMHO good communicators will write a lot on OD sites. Those who are either just killing time or there for a shag won't be wasting their time.

niceupthedance Wed 26-Nov-14 19:15:19

I always thought if that's the extent of a person's conversation online, what the hell would we talk about if we met? It would be a no from me.

HanselandGretel Wed 26-Nov-14 19:20:10

I agree, then I think maybe they'll be better in person! That's the bummer with online, at least meeting in real life you know instantly if there is attraction, how you get on in a conversation etc, so much easier.

Headgone Wed 26-Nov-14 19:37:26

Why don't you have a quick chat on the phone?

Coyoacan Thu 27-Nov-14 04:01:01

I find people are quite different online to in real life. I have a lovely friend but he can be OTT silent, whereas online he reads dead interesting and fun. Writing and speaking are different skills.

Fastcargirl Thu 27-Nov-14 06:52:29

When I did OD I did a survey out of frustration and asked everyone who had contacted me and a few random ones whether they had any intentions of meeting or used od as a method of virtual interaction. Only 2 out of about 40 said their intention was to meet. Most used words like 'Im happy to have fun on here' 'it's nice chatting on here'. My conclusion was v few men on OD want to meet. I didn't ask why they only liked chatting as it made no difference to the outcome.

MadeMan Thu 27-Nov-14 07:54:03

I remember you HandG from the dating thread; it's still around if you feel like venting in there anytime.

Maybe the chatty men were married fastcar?

Fastcargirl Thu 27-Nov-14 08:36:55

Quite possibly. I'm sure men have the same problem vice versa. It seemed to me that approx 80% of the men I communicated with were not it to go on a date.

Rebecca2014 Thu 27-Nov-14 08:42:47

Od for over 1 week now and the chit chat on text is so annoying. Met up with one guy who hasn't bothered arrange another date, so I'm chit chatting wit other guys, but its frustrating and seems pointless.

HanselandGretel Thu 27-Nov-14 09:24:45

Interesting...and depressing survey Fastcargirl !

Well, he's offered me his number and I have suggested we speak on the phone, I'm not just going to transfer our one sentence chats to text, I really don't have the time for flaffing about - so will see if he 1) agrees to chat and 2) is any better on the phone.

HanselandGretel Thu 27-Nov-14 09:28:58

Thanks Mademan - haven't been keeping track of the dating thread but will hop along soon I'm sure to share my tales of woe wink

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