Hi All,
I live in Birmingham and have been offered a dream job in London. The money is good, the company is good and the prospects are excellent.
I live with my partner (her council home) and her son, we have been together for about 18 months, been through a few ups and downs but have worked everything out and came back on a much even footing.
London is also where my own son lives, every second Friday I zoom down to London, collect him and bring him back home for a weekend with me in Birmingham.
Here's my dilemma - My partner, she does not want to relocate. Her family are here, her son who is disabled, attends a specialised school and for the 18 months we have been together, we have a a few to many rocky patches for her to be certain about moving.
We have talked options, I don't take the job and continue trying to find a better position up here.. (very few jobs and we have money issues). I commute on a daily basis, this is possible but would cost a fortune and the extra money from the job would be pointless. I find a Mon-Fri let, travelling down Monday morning and coming home on Friday evening. My partner has thrown in another option, I find a place of my own, she stay here in Birmingham and lives by herself. We effectively date.
She is very pssed off to say the least. She feels that I have been pressurising her, and you know, she is probably right. I have tried hard to see this as a positive, better home (in London), better area (we currently live in shtsville) and there would be a school extremely suited to her son. I would also be close to my own son. She just doesn't want to move - to soon, to many past issues, no period of stability. I get it, so fine.
I could work down there finding a cheap Mon-Fri let and come home every weekend. This again is not for her. She doesn't want to have me treating the home like a hotel and for her to be lumbered doing everything by herself - i.e. decorating etc.
Her solution is for me to take the job, move out of the home, find my own place somewhere closer to this new job. She can then go back on benefits, be secure (her words), I can be closer to my son and we can "see" each other.
I'm at a loss, her solution seems pretty crap. I have financially supported the home, paid the rent, council tax, etc. etc. and it felt like a family. Now with this new job, things have gone completely astray..
I know if I take the job it will be the end of us.. I don't know what to do!
Has anyone else experienced or been through this?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Working Away From Home
WibbleWobble1 · 26/11/2014 09:01
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