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Help me calm down :( irrational grumping...

(4 Posts)
Flingmoo Tue 25-Nov-14 23:30:15

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. I am pissed off with DH for no big reason, I'm tired and have little patience at this hour and neither of us seem to have enough respect for eachother to simply back down bad move on from our bickering little squabbles.

We just had an argument because, during a conversation about 'the olden days' and how life will be different for our infant DS, I said 'we didn't have mobile phones' but he corrected me and said 'we know people who didn't have mobile phones' (the older generation). I argued, yes, that's true, but also we didn't have mobile phones ourselves until a certain age, and then we sort of wound eachother up arguing over semantics. I can't even pinpoint exactly where we disagreed, tbh.

How pathetic can you get... We argue over such pathetic things a lot, I often try to recognise a squabble coming along and stop it in its tracks, but when tired I'm a lot quicker to get irritated.

It's not even PMS time, so can't blame that! How do I snap myself out of these irrational grumps... sad I find it so hard to control. Writing it on here makes it sound even more ridiculous, which has helped a little. Maybe I should start writing in a diary again. Or just come and rant about DH on here every time we have a tiff. Surely it's not 100% my moodiness though, he really winds me up! Sometimes I can't see any magic in this relationship, just a load of old bollocks. Blergh.

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 26-Nov-14 04:32:57

Did the argument stay centred around the mobile phone discussion or did it broaden out to other subjects? Is your life satisfying & fulfilling? Do you feel appreciated? Do you have plenty to do? Does he? Is your relationship mostly good.. are you compatible? Are you in good health... you mention fatigue?

Over-sized arguments about pathetic things can be caused by all kinds of triggers. Some are an outlet for resentment about more serious matters that are being suppressed e.g work stress, anger with partner, money worries. Sometimes it's the sign of a bored person desperate for adult interaction. Sometimes it's attention-seeking behaviour. Sometimes it's a bad habit. Fatigue is enough to make small problems enormous on its own.

It's rarely irrational.

Aussiemum78 Wed 26-Nov-14 04:42:01

Does your husband "correct" you a lot? Mine does sometimes, and it's the pattern of constant little corrections that leads to a reaction. If it was once, it wouldn't matter but all the time, I want to yell at him to just relax!!

Especially when it's irrelevant details that get corrected. Grrr.

Flingmoo Wed 26-Nov-14 09:08:58

a bored person desperate for adult interaction ... Oh dear, that probably is me. I am on maternity leave at home all day with a young baby. I do try and get out most days and have managed to carve out a fairly good social life with other local mums, but I guess there is a bit of a disconnect these days between my husband's life and my new life as a mum.

Aussiemum78 I hate this too. He used to be a really laid back guy but these days he is a bit of a moaner and I get annoyed when he corrects me or moans about really minor things like 'I'm not impressed that you left that door open when we've got the heating on!' or 'Why does this dishcloth keep getting left in the sink!' etc. I think I am guilty of similar griping though. I feel like there's a lack of respect between us when we tell eachother off for all these stupid things.

It's definitely worse when we're tired though. I just wish I was better at suppressing my own grumpiness when I know it's down to tiredness/hormones/some other irrelevant reason.

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