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I am sure he is lying AGAIN - and I'm now pregnant

(13 Posts)
supersupersupershock Tue 25-Nov-14 19:58:12

Long story short... had a very up and down relationship over last few years. Split up about a month ago. I found out yesterday I am pregnant (its on another thread but total shock, thought was unable to and am 42 eeek)... anyway told him and he said will support etc, there was underlying tone of possibly being together as still love each other. Asked if I been seeing anyone said no which i hadn't. He admitted was on a dating site but said came off for own reasons, not met up with anyone etc. I don't beleive him. I unblocked him on facebook and saw a new woman on there who is type if a fair bit older. Confronted him he said no friend of friend, then said used to work with him and bumped into on a night out. Lying cunt i am sure

I was prepared for this pregnancy on my own but it is not good how i am feeling sad sad sad

Vivacia Tue 25-Nov-14 20:10:50

Lying cunt

I can not imagine ever using these words in reference to someone I want to be in a relationship with.

HumblePieMonster Tue 25-Nov-14 20:10:55

Take heart and go ahead without him.
You're 42, this is a pregnancy you didn't think you'd have. Congratulations. Enjoy every single minute of it, and of the hard work you'll go through in the next few years, which will be wonderful times that you'll never forget.

TinyWishes Tue 25-Nov-14 20:41:07

No good will come from being with him. You can't trust him.

you'll be fine! Keep it amicable - if you can - enjoy. Relax. Let her have the pleasure of his bullshit.

supersupersupershock Tue 25-Nov-14 21:03:51

Viva - I don't want to be in a relationship with him when I get reminded of his underhand lying ways.... c word is not usual part of my language but i can honestly say blood was boiling earlier!

I was so excited when i found out yesterday, wanted this for years, and i was getting on really good without him this last month, and now i just feel i need him and want him around and i SOOO don't want to feel like this sad

YvyB Tue 25-Nov-14 21:31:36

That's not you, it's your hormones. Seriously. My pathetic, useless xh left when I was 5 months pregnant. I was terrified and distraught yet not only was he living a whole secret other life, he didnt even have a job! Seriously - what did I think I was going to be missing out on?!

The answer is, that I wasn't thinking at all. It was just my hormones which, during pregnancy, were screaming "Bond! Create a home! Look to your man for protection!" Be very kind to yourself: cosy bedding, good quality food, baby shopping trips with friends. Have a good cry when you need to and remind yourself that this, too, shall pass. Yes, I was tired as a single mum but I wouldn't change a second. I have a lovely relationship with my dc, we have a happy, peaceful home and I've done it all by myself whilst holding down a demanding full time job.

You can do this and both of you will be absolutely fine.

supersupersupershock Tue 25-Nov-14 22:02:10

Gosh I hate him with a venom right now shock. He is not answering texts calls now this evening so clearly out with someone and i had asked him to come over as i was feeling in need of support. He was adament he would not come which is strange as i can usually talk him round and seeing as i have had a terrible day.

Makes me utterly sick. I am scared of so much. My life was pretty good just DS and me in our lovely little home. Feel like i am throwing us into the fire with uncertainty and a rocky road ahead... its been a struggle caring for one financially but two.

I don't think this

Cabrinha Tue 25-Nov-14 23:31:26

He really isn't the person you should be turning to for support.
Do you have other real life options?

MargotThreadbetter Wed 26-Nov-14 00:10:29

Agree with everything YvyB said.
It's the hormones.
I could have written your OP a couple of years ago. I went through my pregnancy alone and have raised my DS alone as ex was shagging OW throughout my pregnancy.
But I've enjoyed my DS so much (I was 44 when I had him!) it's hard sometimes but worth it.
Try to clear your head of his crap, get some distance if you can and look after yourself. Also look at practicalities such as tax credits you may be entitled to, go to citizens advice etc.

InThisTogether Wed 26-Nov-14 00:33:36

I don't mean to be harsh, but if you don't trust him (which you don't) then why would you WANT a relationship?

I can't see anything too heinous about him in your original message, he doesn't sound awful, I'm sorry to say I don't think that you sound like you're not thinking straight.

You CAN do this on your own, don't devalue yourself. But there's no need to be so venomous in my opion. (sorry)

supersupersupershock Wed 26-Nov-14 08:42:21

Firstly, what would I do without mumsnet! My lovely online support, I honestly don't know what I would do without it right now.

As only just found out have only told a couple of close friends. Both are TTC and clearly i wasn't so part of me feels nervous about the sensitivity and I would never want to hurt their feelings by being ungrateful. I couldn't tell my parents as it would worry them so much and I don't want to affect their health

I do know that he is not the person for me at all. I have name changed as I wanted a new username for my new phase of life and under my old username it was mainly about the way he treated me, and the trauma cycle of our relationship.

It is always the waves of hate I get for him... it must be pregnancy as I never normally feel those awful things despite what he has previously done to me. Its subsided this morning. I am not going to make any contact with him now and see when i hear from him. He told me yesterday that looking after me and bump is priority now.... I thought he meant it was his priority but lightbulb moment he was telling me what I need to do.... silly girl.

Margot thank you for sharing your experience, it does give me a boost

Vivacia Wed 26-Nov-14 10:22:08

I agree, you're looking for support in the wrong place. I hope today's an easier day...

supersupersupershock Wed 26-Nov-14 13:20:28

Am currently arranging counselling. Been out and about with a friend and feeling so much better today. I looked at mumsnet pregnancy thingy and it says 7 weeks can feel like severe pmt/emotions all over the place.... hopefully will pass sooooooooooooooonn

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