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Do women ever like to watch porn

(58 Posts)
Hardwoodfloor Mon 24-Nov-14 10:36:58

It seems that lots of women on MN really have issues with DH watching porn.

However, do woman ever like to watch porn with DP?

I know a couple who recently split (she walked out on DH & DS who are both great guys). She used to be really into watching porn with DH.

If a married woman in her 30s/40s is ok to watch porn with DH, is her moral compass a bit off??

Riverland Mon 24-Nov-14 10:38:53

People of either gender can be alienated from their true sexuality. Porn is turned to by any gendered person unable to find real stimulus.

Thurlow Mon 24-Nov-14 10:47:10

I don't think I understand your OP.

Well, actually, I suspect I do and I'm trying to convince myself I don't because what I suspect you are saying is quite horrible.

Are you saying that any married/settled woman/parent who watches pornography has a poor moral compass and is likely to walk out on her family?

If that's not what you're saying then I don't understand your third sentence. If that is what you are saying then... um... wow?

Plenty of people, male and female, enjoy watching porn. Plenty of people, male and female, enjoy reading porn. Plenty of people, male and female, enjoy looking at porn. Plenty of people, male and female, enjoy sexual activities other people don't. Plenty of people, male and female, don't enjoy anything related to pornography.

People are different and what they get up to in their own consenting private life is their own business.

Teeb Mon 24-Nov-14 10:49:07

Thurlow pretty much has it covered there.

TheHermitCrab Mon 24-Nov-14 10:56:03

Are you trying to ask if a woman's moral compass is off because she watches porn, therefore more likely to leave a partner? I'm lost....

If so does that matter if women like to watch porn or not?

I'm not sure of the question.

I watch porn (I'm a woman) and my partner (male) does separately. We don't watch it together, I suggested it but he sees it as more a private thing for him, which is fair.

But I don't see how it's any reflection on your moral compass, yes people have their views on the industry. But just like a vegetarian wouldn't judge a meat eater on that one thing, or if you saw somebody shopping in primark you wouldn't necessarily thing their morals are all to pot would you...?

Alibabaandthe40nappies Mon 24-Nov-14 10:59:30

Riverland really? Ok...

Tobyjugg Mon 24-Nov-14 11:12:03

Of course they do. Just like some women like marmite, line dancing and/or country music. Others find it deeply repellent. I doubt there is any aspect of the human experience, no matter how weird, sick or dangerous, that someone, somewhere doesn't enjoy

AnyFucker Mon 24-Nov-14 11:12:46

If you have really read all these threads about male porn users you will have also seen that some women do it too

Am not sure what you are asking

If it's a general debate about the ethics of porn use, the same principles apply to both genders whichever side of the fence you are approaching it from

supernaut Mon 24-Nov-14 11:16:26

Are we talking professional porn or amateur?
There are a lot of single women and couples who post their own material online.
No exploitation, none of the aggressive sex you see in pro porn.
Much more acceptable.

davejudgement Mon 24-Nov-14 11:21:18

DP & I shagged each others brains out watching The Secretary; does that count?

Joysmum Mon 24-Nov-14 11:22:33

What you'll read on these boards is very skewed towards anti porn, more so because many of us soon gave up trying to express ourselves wink

I do think those that do have a responsibility to chose carefully though.

So, as with many other threads, I'll post this and not revisit the thread. smile

Jan45 Mon 24-Nov-14 11:24:53

I never understand the fascination with watching porn, If I am with a partner, that's more than enough for me and I don't feel the need for extra stimulation from watching the most unrealistic sexual activities, I'd much rather use my imagination - imagination is lost in all the crap on the internet.

Hardwoodfloor Mon 24-Nov-14 11:25:58

I'm in no way suggesting that a woman who watches porn has a poor moral compass.

I am saying that MN has a lot of posts about DW's hating porn and none about DW actively watching it with partners. Therefore, it could be assumed that its uncommon or frowned upon by DWs.

Perhaps a more pertinent question is are DWs in a healthy relationship ever happy to watch porn with DH, or is there an inherent dislike to porn in mature, grown women with DC and in a stable relationship.

Mitchy1nge Mon 24-Nov-14 11:26:04

I watch porn by myself in an emergency (emergency = unlikely event of being alone and having time to be bored and feeling physically restless) but is quite rare because it's impossible to know whether the material is sort of Fair Trade ethically sound

then I just read a bit of Snuff by Chuck Palahnuik to put myself off for next time

I think have been set up by time in church as a child to get off on feeling guilty

FruitCakey Mon 24-Nov-14 11:28:12

I watch porn. DH watch porn. It usually only occurs when masterbation is involved; Which is normal I might add. We don't watch it together, but we both know we each do it.

Not only that, but DH and I also have a good sex life.
Our "moral compasses" are perfectly fine, cheers! hmm

Mitchy1nge Mon 24-Nov-14 11:29:55

advanced hypocrisy but find it massive turn off if a sexual partner enjoys porn

it turns me off them as a person anyway

sparklecrates Mon 24-Nov-14 11:30:36

I watched both black flags and game of thrones and it seems like people who like sex do all the moving and shaking in history, but I dont think middle class nice people look at porn they are too busy blaming immigrants and baking.

Any more stupid generalisations anyone?

eurochick Mon 24-Nov-14 11:31:38

Of course women watch porn. The attitude towards porn on MN does not reflect my real life experience, in which many man and women enjoy porn sometimes.

It doesn't mean anything about moral compasses.

I watch it sometimes - alone or with my husband. I won't watch anything violent, coercive or that I consider to be abusive. I am in a happy, stable relationship and have a child.

Thurlow Mon 24-Nov-14 11:36:38

If that's what you mean, OP, can you explain what that comment about your friend leaving her husband was for? confused

Anyway - no, I don't think it's as simple as making the assumption you have from I am saying that MN has a lot of posts about DW's hating porn and none about DW actively watching it with partners. Therefore, it could be assumed that its uncommon or frowned upon by DWs

People post things like that on MN because they have a problem with something, not because they are happy with something. A lot of women see porn use as something they will not accept, hence why they have started a thread about it. Just as a woman might start a thread about how she finds a DH getting so pissed he throws up on the floor unacceptable, or a DH putting his hobbies above family life.

People tend not to come on to MN and say "you know what, DH just made me an amazing dinner, then we went upstairs, watched some really hardcore porn and had a mind-blowing shag."

If you went by the assumptions you could make from reading just the original posts and problems on MN threads, then you could assume that most women are in relationships with men who never cook, or who don't give them enough financial support, or who go on 8 golfing holidays a year.

Ditto that posters either have immaculate show homes that they redecorate 3 times a year, or houses that haven't been cleaned or tidied since they moved in 6 years ago.

newname12 Mon 24-Nov-14 11:40:44

I like porn. My sex drive isn't great and I'd probably go months barely thinking about sex so reading stories or watching porn gets my body up and running a bit. I watch it on my own, sometimes with DH.

In recent years with the advent of online porn I do struggle a bit as it is getting more and more extreme, and a lot of it does look like abuse. the fashion for hairless bodies means I can't tell whether the women are underage or close to it. I don't want to watch anything that doesn't look consensual, which, to be honest, is most of it these days.

If I knew for sure it was consensual and non-exploitative I'd probably use it much more.

AS far as I know my moral compass is intact and I'm not going to leave DH and DC...

Tryharder Mon 24-Nov-14 11:49:02

In answer to your question:

Yes, occasionally I like watching or reading porn usually with DP, also alone from time to time.

But I can also see that it is seedy, soul destroying and potentially massively damaging to young or vulnerable minds, shall we say.

SolidGoldBrass Mon 24-Nov-14 12:04:05

It's also worth mentioning that some women like making porn. There is a current trend towards 'feminist' porn (both produced ethically and aimed at a female audience), the bulk of which is being made by women.

There is a long cultural/social history of women being expected to dislike sex and/or be horrified by sexually explicit entertainment, but that is not because women inherently dislike sex. It's something imposed on women by a male culture that depends on women not having sexual autonomy.
HTH.

Windywinston Mon 24-Nov-14 12:34:27

Plenty of people on MN have an ethical objection to porn, which applies whether the user is male or female. However, much of the problem with porn use on this forum is as a result of one person using it in secret when they know their partner hates it. It's the deception rather than the porn.

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 24-Nov-14 12:38:57

Having just heard an interview on R4 with someone who offers support for people who are 'addicted' (for want of a better word) to porn and those who are affected by that addiction, she put it quite well. "If the porn use is causing a problem, get in touch... if it's not, don't bother."

Attitude to porn use is a personal and highly subjective thing. If you find someone with the same attitude, it's unlikely to be a problem. IMHO it's therefore a compatibility rather than a straightforward morality matter.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers Mon 24-Nov-14 12:39:33

Women can and do get aroused from watching porn, even degrading and abusive porn sometimes.
The trouble is that so much porn is degrading, abusive and obviously coercive so if you are a woman with a bit of a raised consciousness about porn then issues of conscience will tend to put a dampener on the sexual response.

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