Sorry for the long post, this is an issue that has been affecting me for a while and it has been bringing me down. Namechanged for this.
I have a close group of best friends, however I don't see them that often (in person, online/by phone we keep up with each other). This means I have quite a lot of casual friendships. One of these friends introduced me to a girl and we hit it off - same interests etc. She began to ask me to have lunch with her, and enjoying her company, I did. This was not a regular thing as I often had other commitments.
6 months ago, due to various issues, these commitments were no longer a problem. She then began to find me at lunch every day, every week, which at first seemed fine but now is making me feel distant from my usual friends, as she insists on sitting alone.
Then, she began to find me during my breaks and sit and try to chat for the entire break even though I often was working during these and trying to concentrate. Also, I usually use my breaks to chat to my casual friends, so once again, I feel distanced from them.
I feel a bit suffocated by this friendship, as none of my casual friends get along with this girl, and although she is nice, I am finding her more and more annoying. (Sorry if i sound rude, it's hard to verbalise my feelings in this particular scenario.)
I want to talk to her and tell her to stop coming to see me during my breaks and reduce the amount of times we eat lunch together, however I don't want to be rude to her as she doesn't have many other friends and she told me that the last proper friendship she had did not end well as her previous friend began to experience what i am going through now. However, she is quite unstable and I am unwilling to turn on her completely. Is there any possible way I can let her down gently without seeming like a total idiot?
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Clingy friend - how to distance?
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xxnamechangedforthis · 23/11/2014 12:25
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