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I don't get what he means

(43 Posts)
giinny91 Sun 23-Nov-14 08:20:24

Me: I love you and I just want to make things work better. If I stop caring and just let everything slide then we'll be ok right? ^^

Him: Doesn't seem to matter anyways.

Quitelikely Sun 23-Nov-14 08:23:09

Any more info? You're asking a lot only providing one sentence!

AttilaTheMeerkat Sun 23-Nov-14 08:23:18

Regardless of the meaning behind his words, he does not seem at all bothered anyway. Why flog what is perhaps a dead horse here?.

I would also read up on co-dependency within a relationship also.

however Sun 23-Nov-14 08:37:15

I'm not actually sure what either of you means.

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 23-Nov-14 09:00:36

I'd take it on face value. 'I'll do what it takes' vs 'I don't care' usually means it's over

jakesmith Sun 23-Nov-14 09:09:15

Very cryptic post really

Drumdrum60 Sun 23-Nov-14 09:11:00

I don't understand your message. What are you letting slide? Doesn't sound positive. Not sure he understood either so he sent a petulant reply.

calzone Sun 23-Nov-14 09:11:48

I don't get what either of you mean. confused

You are going to let everything slide and it doesn't matter to him anyway.

Walk away.

Finola1step Sun 23-Nov-14 09:12:37

Difficult to tell from so little detail. But from what you have provided, he's really not that bothered.

BirdhouseInYourSoul Sun 23-Nov-14 09:13:12

He seems to be saying that what ever you do won't matter because it's over.

You shouldn't have to left things slide to make it work if they are important to you though. Don't lower your standards to fit his.

Blu Sun 23-Nov-14 09:16:40

If you don't know what he means, ask him.

And if this is by text, talk.

But really listen: do not try and get him to say what you want him to say , or find your own interpretation in what he says. Express your own feelings and then listen to his.

Tobyjugg Sun 23-Nov-14 09:42:35

There's not a lot to go on but it sounds to me like he's had enough of (a) the conversation, (b) trying to make the relationship work and (c) you (sorry to be brutal).

Time for you to move on, I think.

giinny91 Sun 23-Nov-14 10:17:36

So this is basically what happened.
We loved each other a lot but then things started to happen. First he told me why I never tell him things. When I started to show him my emotions, he got annoyed and tired. Then I stopped, i just held everythingg inside and sometimes post sad songs on facebook. Then again he didn't like it. So I don't really know what to do. That's why I told I him maybe if I stop caring too much then things will get better. I think I'll just let him go. I'm tired of his confusing personalities and he also got commitment issues based on what I've seen.

giinny91 Sun 23-Nov-14 10:20:47

before that he said this:

Don't worry Ginny. I've just been more busy than usual because it's midterm season right now for me so I'm an even worse boyfriend than you're probablly used to, and I apologize. Everything just feels awkward to me. thats all. I'm sorry. So don't feel like that.

I don't know why he feels awkward. what is so awkward between me and him...? i don't understand.

giinny91 Sun 23-Nov-14 10:21:26

and I agree with you guys. he doesn't seem to bother. time to move on I guess.

hesterton Sun 23-Nov-14 10:27:52

It sounds painful. But I wonder if you are being unconscously a bit passive aggressive with you sad song posting and your, well if I let it slip then we will be ok, right? stuff.

I think you do what so many of us can do - try to conceal feelings but actually have them pouring out in what is really an unsubtle way. Can you try to talk absolutely honestly with him? Or failing that, after the split really work on saying what you mean directly rather than through litle messages you want people to pick up. Otherwise life can be so disappointing. I speak from experience. It is so much nicer now I say: it makes me feel ... when ... I need you to ....

giinny91 Sun 23-Nov-14 10:31:03

I really tried. I did tell him: hey I feel like this, like that. I need you to...but he just response in short replies and doesn't seem to care at all.
It is painful but I need to remember to breath for myself too right. I bought him couple keychains, bought him cute stuffs to make him happy. I was always there when he was tired. I don't know what else could I have done. I'm walking away!

hesterton Sun 23-Nov-14 10:33:57

Sounds like a good plan Ginny. Sometimes its the best thing. Onwards and upwards! And don't forget reflection. It will be different next time.

makeitabetterplace Sun 23-Nov-14 10:35:47

Honestly, he sounds like he's not that into the relationship and you sound like you're trying to force him into caring. You're one step off dumping him to see if he reacts. I'd give this one up.

AnnieLobeseder Sun 23-Nov-14 10:36:24

Sorry, but it sounds like you're flogging a dead horse. And there's no point in trying to force a relationship with someone who doesn't want one. It gives them free reign to walk all over you while you take their crap in a pointless effort to make them love you. It's not healthy for anyone, and a relationship can't work without mutual love and respect.

Breaking up and moving on is hard, but you need to do it. Your life will be infinitely better for it, I promise.

JustSpeakSense Sun 23-Nov-14 10:36:53

Couples key chains? confused

Finola1step Sun 23-Nov-14 10:38:46

It all does sound like a lot if hard work for very little return.

Might be best to walk away from this one and spend a bit of time by yourself.

giinny91 Sun 23-Nov-14 10:39:13

Yes they look like this :D$_57.JPG

Ok guys, i'm walking away just silently. I won't even say a word

AnnieLobeseder Sun 23-Nov-14 10:50:25

Oh good lord. I'm sorry, OP, but those key rings would make you look very needy in a relationship that was struggling. I think you're doing the right thing by walking away.

Seriouslyffs Sun 23-Nov-14 10:50:47

Good Luck giinny91!
Do think about what you'd like in a partner and don't rush into a new relationship. What are your circumstances, what are you looking for?

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