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Called it a day - what next?

(8 Posts)
toomanyprojects Sat 22-Nov-14 22:48:16

We have been married over 15 yrs, had a talk last year as I felt flat and wasn't happy anymore; now he feels the same and so we have decided to split but what do I need to do next? we have three children, youngest is still in primary so want to do christmas first before anything happens. I can't afford to buy out half the house so do I have to sell? If we sell I will still need a fairly big house to accommodate three children....
We have a fair amount of equity, maybe 300K but half that won't buy anything so I will need a mortgage, presuming his contributions for the children would count as income. I work 4 days a week but only term time and not a huge amount. Looking for a helpful website to lead me through this. He earns massively more than I do, as I gave up my career to have the children.

CogitoErgoSometimes Sat 22-Nov-14 22:52:16

Get some legal advice specific to your situation, see what the conventions are and what would be a fair settlement, then use that as your starting point for discussions

TheNewWitchOfSWL Sat 22-Nov-14 22:55:25

Try Wikivorce.

Adarajames Sat 22-Nov-14 23:03:42

Def see a solicitor, but f you are main childcare then it's possibly would e rules that you can stay in the house till kid reach 18, but you should make appointment with solicitor even if it will be amicable split x

toomanyprojects Sat 22-Nov-14 23:03:55

Thanks for the advice, looking at wikivorce now.

StillScottish Sat 22-Nov-14 23:21:11

Is it an amicable split? How does he feel about being the one to move out, and how much custody of the kids is he after?

If you are going to have primary custody, then you may well be able to stay in the house without having to buy him out if you think you can keep up with the mortgage payments.

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 23-Nov-14 05:46:19

Some solicitors will offer a free initial consultation. Better to get the information directly from a professional than go the DIY route

Mindofaman Sun 23-Nov-14 22:45:53

Even though it’s at an end, think carefully before you bring anyone else into your relationship, this includes friends, family or solicitors.

You managed to sort things for 15 years so it’s worth trying to sort this between yourselves. I’ve seen perfectly amicable separations turn vile when some tosser solicitor (or poisonous friend) gets inside DW or DH head. Remember, the only ones who wins when solicitors get involved are the solicitors themselves.

If you’ve agreed to split everything 50:50 then you’re off to a good start. Remember, both of you need decent homes for yourselves and dc to live.

MN has plenty of good meaning advice but it also has it’s fair share of angry and hurting ‘advice'. Speak to hubby, be honest with each other and realistic in your expectations.

Good luck

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