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Feel betrayed by everyone after relationship break up

(5 Posts)
apologeticallydressed Sat 22-Nov-14 18:41:25

I'm finding things hard at the moment and need to share my thoughts. My ex partner broke up with me in June (just before my birthday, in fact) after a 3 year relationship. We did not live together but it was one of those relationships where we were always very close, always at each other's homes, talking about a future together etc. I honestly thought I would marry him. I'm in my late 20s and he's in his 30s so I was at the point where I thought I might settle down.

To cut a long story short, he seemed less and less interested in seeing me the few weeks before the breakup. Then one day he texted me out of the blue saying that "things didn't feel right and they couldn't be fixed." I was shocked and suspected that there was more to it. I was right and I found out he was seeing someone else he met at work, although he has never admitted this to me. I tried to meet up and sort it out but got nowhere. He wouldn't even see me in person to discuss things. I was left with no closure and he kept me hanging on for a few weeks after, texting me that he had a birthday present for me and really wanted me to have it but never turned up to drop it off.

He has recently started seeing someone new, which I expected. He has a track record for meeting women, getting into a relationship very quickly then cheating or going cold after about 2 years. I was warned about him at the start of a relationship by a mutual friend but I (stupidly) didn't believe it because he seemed so warm and nice.

I am finding things hard at the moment. There are coupled-up, lovey-dovey pictures of him with his new woman all over social media sites and to rub salt into the wound, a lot of his friends and family are all over her, commenting on how lovely they are together etc. and knowing I would see it as I am also on this site. I suspect he met her in the summer but has chosen not to tell his friends or family until now because he doesn't want to seem like 'the bad guy'. I know he has lied about what happened and has told others that I broke it off because I was too busy with my job and had no time for him. I've lost a number of mutual friends because they have taken his side.

It hurts to see people I thought I was close to writing comments on how happy they are for him and how perfect they are together. It's a horrible feeling of betrayal and it's sinking it that maybe they didn't like me at all and the friendship we had was all false. His sister in particular has really surprised me, because we were quite close and she hasn't bothered with me.

Thanks if you've read this far. Just feeling very sad about it all.

CogitoErgoSometimes Sat 22-Nov-14 18:45:38

Sorry you're having a tough time. You have to stay off FB or whatever it is. Relationships break down all the time, family and friends are not going to stand in anyone's way if tjey choose to move on, and you're just torturing yourself looking at photos and reading comments.

Instead, be with people who like you and keep yourself busy until the raw hurt has passed Let them console you,. Good luck

MsPavlichenko Sat 22-Nov-14 18:47:58

It is shit, and I'm not surprised you are feeling so low. But the best thing you can do is either remove yourself from the site or unfriend/block them all. Put a band round your wrist and ping it when tempted to stalk.

Sounds like he's done you a favour if he has form, and, better off with out the others if this is how they behave.

You will get through this!

Only1scoop Sat 22-Nov-14 18:52:19

Surround yourself with the genuine friends you have....if you have lost 'friends' over this they were probably not really friends to begin with.

Please try not to invest time and energy upsetting yourself over pictures and comments on his latest conquest. I'm not a user of fb or similar but I imagine all this staring back at you is very hurtful....easier said than done I'm sure but I'd just stop looking.

Only1scoop Sat 22-Nov-14 18:56:03

I've had similar in the past with an exes sister and it does hurt....she may just feel awkward at the moment.

Try to plan some nice things to do....pamper yourself and stay busy.
So sorry....I know things hurt at the moment, but you know you deserve better.

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