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No orgasm!

(21 Posts)
tryiingtopleasure Sat 22-Nov-14 08:12:54

I'm 66 my wife passed away after 41 years of marriage. I am now in a relationship with a wonderful lady a young 6 years my senior. Problem when making love to her a I cannot stimulate her to the point of orgasm. I had no problems at all with my late wife. My new lady seems not to have any really sensitive areas that turn her on and I have tried oral, digital, physical and mechanical(!) means to no avail. I feel as though I am just using her for my own pleasure. With her late husband the only way she achieved orgasm was by riding him. HELP!!!!

CogitoErgoSometimes Sat 22-Nov-14 08:27:38

Is she happy with the experience? Does she say she's enjoying herself? Does she look like she's having a good time? Is she applying any pressure on you to help her achieve orgasm or is this self imposed? It's OK for you to want her to get the most out if it but it's really not the be all and end all. The danger of 'trying everything' is that it can end up feeling like a challenge rather than an expression of affection. Takes time to find your groove as a couple.

LuluJakey1 Sat 22-Nov-14 09:44:28

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Joysmum Sat 22-Nov-14 09:45:31

Can she do it for herself?

The reason I ask is that if this is something she can't achieve herself then she can't direct you to make it happen either.

It may well be that she feels under some sort of pressure to climax which then makes it less likely.

I think you need to have a chat, ask her what she'd like and make it clear your purpose is to ensure she has the best time possible and you just want to make sure you're meeting her needs.

Arlagirl Sat 22-Nov-14 09:47:31

So you say she could only orgasm on top.
So surely the answer is do that.

Dirtybadger Sat 22-Nov-14 09:53:59

If she knows you're desperate for her to orgasm then I think the pressure is on and she may be less likely to...

If she's enjoying what you have, continue. You'll get there eventually when the pressure is off. I'm assuming it hasn't been long, saying this.

ImperialBlether Sat 22-Nov-14 10:00:58

I'd love to know why you came onto MN (sic) to tell us this.

FrauHelgaMissMarpleandaChuckle Sat 22-Nov-14 10:05:12

If you know and she knows there's a sure fire way for her to get off, why on earth aren't you doing that?

Jolleigh Sat 22-Nov-14 10:21:47

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Tobyjugg Sat 22-Nov-14 10:30:00

I suspect I'm nearer the poster's age than most of those who've replied on this. I've no answer to the problem but I'd just like to point out that as you get older, the female on top position isn't as easy as it used to be. Basically, the knees can't take it.

PrettyPictures92 Sat 22-Nov-14 10:51:22


PiratePanda Sat 22-Nov-14 10:56:17

Guys, report the thread if you have concerns about authenticity. You know the rules.

TheOnlyOliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Sat 22-Nov-14 11:00:39

Welcome OP
Seems like you've got some fair suggestions here.
Best of luck with it all

Arlagirl Sat 22-Nov-14 11:24:28

Lol @ Tobyjugg

ChippingInAutumnLover Sat 22-Nov-14 11:32:31

Tobyjugg ain't that the truth!

Jolleigh Sat 22-Nov-14 12:32:16

You are of course right Pirate

Sorry OP, very rude of me. Does your partner comment on the lack of orgasms?

ChimesAndCarols Sat 22-Nov-14 13:32:05

Hear Hear TobyJugg - well said. These youngsters today just don't think, do they grin

ivykaty44 Sat 22-Nov-14 17:45:09

Oral I get along with mechanical but what is digital sex??

bloodystupidfriend Sat 22-Nov-14 18:09:45

Fingers ivykaty44 smile

Wrapdress Sat 22-Nov-14 18:29:10

I have learned something new today. The knee thing, not the finger thing.

Tobyjugg Sat 22-Nov-14 19:03:40

Sometimes you gotta tell it like it is.

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