DP and I have fallen out tonight and it all started because my DS had failed to make a start on dinner, even though we had both written to him asking him to.
DP has an arrangement to see his two younger children and mostly he goes up to where they live and (so he says) stays at a friend's house. The contact itself isn't an issue but he's lied in the past about his sleeping arrangements. I've only been up once, got introduced to the ex, and we were supposed to be going up tomorrow, all three of us.
So we were in the middle of cooking dinner, DP starts to tell DS off for not doing as we had asked and says to me that he couldn't see us three going together. His point was that he didn't want to reward DS with a trip (we had planned cinema and meal out with his boys, and a music performance in the evening for the three of us). I became defensive as I felt that he was pushing me out at which point he said that if I wasn't going, he might as well go tonight. It's not the first time that he turns his back on me when I've done nothing wrong and I am pretty good at disciplining DS (even my horrid exh only has high praise for my parenting!?!?). I felt really hurt that he was actually going to be away for two nights, and because of certain things that have happened in the past, I couldn't help thinking that it was all part of some plan to fit in with whatever he's got planned where the children are.
He went out, taking his overnight bag with him, but I was secretly praying that he wasn't going to do something as stupid as actually going there tonight. He did come back twice (not sure what he was doing) and tried to call me, but he also said some very harsh words and I simply couldn't believe how he was taking all this anger out on me. He tried to call a few times and when I eventually answered it, I found out that he was almost there.
It may seem over-dramatic but I don't believe that we can recover from this. This weekend was very important, not only because it was the first time that the three of us would be going together, but also because the whole access arrangement is a 'work in progress' in the moment. It'd have introduced another alternative to the equation, seeing that they boys can't miss their football once a month to spend time at their dad's home. To me, the fact that he's chosen to go by himself tells me a lot more than just an argument over DS' laziness. It was about us as a unit, and being seeing that way. To me, it would have been the reassurance that I can trust DP and have nothing to worry about. This has all gone down the drain and I am shocked and deeply hurt by how DP has spoken to me, and some of the things that he's said. So at this point, I've told him to have a lovely weekend but that I had had enough of the lies and messy arrangements.
We were due to get married in September, so supposedly we were pretty serious about each other - one would like to think so, anyway!! ;-)
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So angry, hurt and disappointed!
21 replies
StellaBrillante · 22/11/2014 02:04
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