Me and my Mother!

[Middleagedhappiness]

Sounds like a song! I'm struggling to know what to do going forward.

A very condensed background is that my Mother left for another man when I was around 10 my sister was around 6 and my Dad was in the Merchant Navy, he couldn't look after us full time so she took us to the other end of the country to live with him (he had been our neighbour!), a very, very awful emotional time followed, my mother not giving a shit, we went to live with his parents, they didn't accept us, he started to abuse, my mother stood by and let it happen, we were bullied, awful, awful times, the crux of the story is that I left home at 17, mainly because he abused me for many, many years but also, because I thought if I don't get out now, he will rape me and then I'm in more shit that I thought! ( as if rape was the worst!), he'd already done massive emotional damage!!
Anyway, fast forward many years, he is long gone (that's another thread), me, my sister and her all live in the same city but although my sister and I have major issues, she has re-written history to suit her conscience! If you explain to her how things happened she will point blank deny it did, I have had stand up rows with her about it, I've been to counselling, I've done everything I can do but where do I go from here? I can accept that she's like she is, I've made enough provisions in my upbringing of my children that I do not make the same mistakes as her but she is meant to be a Grandmother and have an interest in my children's lives but she doesn't seem to give shit!!
I am prepared to let go, I barely interact as it is but the repercussions throughout the extended family would be huge!
Basically, where do I go from here??

[HumblePieMonster]

No idea, but I'm sorry you've had such a hard time and hope people come along shortly to give advice.

[Walkacrossthesand]

What would the repercussions be? Your mother isn't interested in your childrens' lives, so you stop trying and - nothing will happen, surely? (other than you experiencing a great sense of relief that you can stop trying now....)