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Experiences of Gaslighting?

(6 Posts)
DuchessofNorks Wed 19-Nov-14 18:04:01

I have a bit of a problem with someone in my life right now, and I can't figure out if they are Gaslighting or if I really am just stupidly forgetful. does anyone have experience of this?

Whenever we have a dispute and it is brought up later on, everything I recall is thrown back at me with "Actually, what you really said was...." or "I think you will find that I actually said....."

An example would be..

Norks: "You said you had £50 with you"

Person: "No I didn't, I said £30"

Norks: "I am pretty sure you said £50 and that's what I budgeted for".

Person: "No I didnt. I know I'm right because [insert a detailed description of where we were/what we were doing/wearing/listening to/how I wore my hair that day]. You are so forgetful, Norks."

When I inform them that I have it in a confirmation text they call me pedantic/paranoid or something else to make me feel like an arse for daring to double check.

I've been tempted to start recording conversations just to make sure I'm not slowly going mad! Am I being gaslighted or am I really just paranoid?

tippytap Wed 19-Nov-14 18:10:42

Sounds like gaslighting to me.

Who's doing that to you?

CaulkheadUpNorth Wed 19-Nov-14 18:10:48

I'm not sure, but I have a close friend who is like this, so watching with interest.

IAmAShitHotLawyer Wed 19-Nov-14 18:18:22

Well if you've got it in writing then that's clear evidence of gaslighting, you don't need to record any conversations, you have your evidence in front of you.

The fact that your called paranoid or pedantic for checking just makes it worst.

peachgirl Wed 19-Nov-14 19:36:07

Very clear gaslighting. The fact they're still trying to do it and make you doubt yourself for checking (which is perfectly rational and logical in your situation), even when you have confirmation of their behaviour, is the biggest red flag for me.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Wed 19-Nov-14 20:07:54

Sometimes this is driven by the desire to "win" more than mess with your head. But it's still manipulation and if you are not "forgetful" with anyone else I think you can assume it is this person baiting you.

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