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A woman at work is a bitch.

(27 Posts)
keepingupwiththekhaleesi Wed 19-Nov-14 11:10:49

So, I work part time & part of my role is as supervisor to a small 'team'. One of them is a bitch to me & it's all I can think about on my day off when i should be food shopping & spending time with DC. I'm worried about what i'll miss at work which will be used as power against me. She works full time & therefore spends more time at work & in some respects knows what's going on day to day, whereas being part time I need to catch up with what happened yesterday etc. She started off making snidey remarks about me to others 'what's the difference in her role & mine' 'she's never here'. So I ignored all that & she's upped the ante: 'why don't you give us more support?' 'I can't believe you let the customer talk to you like that' and lots more of the same to the point that when she's around I can feel myself shaking. She takes great delight in this by being even louder & brashier & announcing every great thing she has done/ is doing. It's getting me down sad

Madlizzy Wed 19-Nov-14 11:15:06

Talk to your line manager about how you should deal with her and ask for support. Be factual and give examples of where this woman had undermined you.

JeromeSqualor Wed 19-Nov-14 11:16:48

you are the supervisor of full time workers but work part time?
That must be very hard.
I think you should keep a diary and do what madlizzy says

FabULouse Wed 19-Nov-14 11:17:05

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

keepingupwiththekhaleesi Wed 19-Nov-14 11:28:34

It is harder than I thought. I got the supervisor job before mat leave & went back with a Wednesday off. I've been thinking of speaking to my manager but I thought she would think I can't cope, truth is I can't. I'll need to pre- prepare some comebacks to the 'bitch', that's a good idea & I'll see how I feel at the end of the week. I think I'll need to talk to my manager regardless because I want it noting down what she's like. Today though I'm thinking: 'have my job bitch if you want it so badly & leave me alone.'

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 19-Nov-14 11:38:15

Agree with the PP that said to use your position of authority. She's not a 'bitch' - that's not a very professional word - she's a bad employee who is making some seriously career-limiting moves by being openly rude to her boss (you). Personally I'd subject her to a verbal warning followed up with a written one if she carries on being unpleasant. You know? Use the correct procedures, clip her wings, get her dismissed if necessary and show others you're not to be insulted.

CocktailQueen Wed 19-Nov-14 11:41:56

Did you have any training in how to manage people when you were off on maternity leave? It doesn't sound like you're very confident. You're in a position of authority here - you can issue verbal and written warnings to this woman, and so on. If you're in 4 days out of 5, then that's not very part-time!

Start by having a word with her, and pick her up on every negative or disrespectful thing she says. She doesn't respect you.

Also, I'd go to see HR or your line manager and ask for some management training.

And also document what's happening - objective things she has said, and when, so you have a paper trail. And don't call her a 'bitch' - that's not v professional!

GoatsDoRoam Wed 19-Nov-14 11:44:13

Perhaps she also has genuine concerns re: lack of support, and is seeking clarification on her role vs your role.

You might start by having a meeting with her to lay out what support it is that you are there to give, and what her role is in the team. And ask her if she has any other concerns.

Maybe she is frustrated by things you're not aware of, and could help with as a manager?

keepingupwiththekhaleesi Wed 19-Nov-14 11:47:29

You're right cogito, perhaps I'm not helping myself not being professional and referring to her as bitch. Reading my posts back it does make me sound like a victim which I do not want to. I was good at my job BC & now feeling more confident with the support on here.

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 19-Nov-14 11:50:33

So be good at your job. Be a leader. Slap her down (figuratively). Because all the time she's mouthing off in front of the rest of your team and making you look irrelevant, your credibility is disappearing in the rear view mirror. She has to be made an example of.... within company procedures, goes without saying.... and soon.

WildBillfemale Wed 19-Nov-14 12:15:16

Firstly draw attention to YOUR line manager BUT you also need to tell YOUR manager how you will be dealing with it. If you don't outline your solution it will just look like you can't handle a difficult staff member. This staff member is clearly gunning for your job so you need to make it clear you were and have always been the right person for the job. Make it clear you will be giving her a verbal warning.

Then take 'her' 'into the office' for a quiet calm chat explaining that some of the things she has been saying have been getting back to you and if she is unhappy with your management style then now is her chance to talk about it. Let her waffle then come down on her like a ton of bricks, you want a team player, not someone who is undermining team members etc and if she has a problem with your management style maybe she would be happier on another team? You also need to mention that you have discussed this with your higher ups, so she knows you have their backing. Don't be friendly or apologetic, just matter of fact.

windingways Wed 19-Nov-14 13:45:35

leave her alone she is also working and learning, it is very easy to get someone when they are learning, when you have the ropes no one can get you so you are doing the obvious why don't you do the opp and teach her something so that she is not 'bitchy', like how to calm down would be the first step

MellowAutumn Wed 19-Nov-14 14:02:01

Windingways are you on glue???

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 19-Nov-14 14:03:39

Leave her alone? hmm People like the woman described are often sheer poison in a team environment. Bit mouthy and intimidating, they're a bad influence and create dissent. Properly controlled and harnessed they might be useful but, left to their own devices, they get overly bold and above themselves.

Quitelikely Wed 19-Nov-14 14:10:12

I agree with pp. Take her into the office and discuss some of the comments she has made. Advise her that these are not appropriate and tell her she is over stepping her professional boundaries.

Say now would be a good time to discuss any concerns she may have, as since you are her supervisor you can help her address them.

Don't forget to say that! She needs reminding! smile

Madlizzy Wed 19-Nov-14 15:07:41

Leave her alone? Oh dear. Yes, why not let her just drip, drip, drip poison across the team and watch it fall apart.

I'm on the pc rather than my phone now. I absolutely agree that you need to use your position of authority to deal with this, with the full backing of your manager. Put an action plan in place. You can stop this behaviour.

Annarose2014 Wed 19-Nov-14 15:25:59

I always found a good phrase was "Lets try to keep things professional"

My God it makes the agressor splutter. They always come back "But I AM keeping it professional!!" and instantly sound (even to themselves) like they're stamping their foot like a child. Then you respond with a silent but devastating raised-eyebrow-head-tilt combo. KAPOW!

Another great word is "appropriate". If you use that in an exchange it can be devastating i.e. "This is a workplace - lets try to exchange ideas in an appropriate manner, how about that?"

Oooh thats a killer.

MagicMonday Wed 19-Nov-14 16:10:26

You must get support and take assertive action immediately. I speak as someone who came back from mat leave full time and couldn't get an undermining direct report back under control (despite meetings and polite discussions). I should have read her the riot act and got backing much earlier, but left it too late. I've handed in my notice as it was causing so much stress and anxiety.

My manager is horrified as my report isn't that great at the job and, despite my loss of confidence, it turns out I'm highly rated in the company.I can't face having to work there anymore though. I was an idiot letting it get this bad as I would have had full management backing. Get help if you think it is appropriate, but don't let it continue. Good luck!

yougotafriend Wed 19-Nov-14 16:55:06

A great tip I got, and have used when someone says something negative in a team environment is to never as "why did you.... ?" as this gives an opportunity for them to validate their opinion. Instead ask "what made you think that was a useful comment /idea?"

Good luck OP we spend too much time in work to be treading on eggshells

dadwood Wed 19-Nov-14 17:04:36

OP - 'what's the difference in her role & mine'

She's jealous! Probably of your role, but maybe of your part time status or both.

2fedup Wed 19-Nov-14 17:07:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

smokinggnu Wed 19-Nov-14 17:50:58

She's trying the old tactic of implying hours of work = commitment to work. It's incredibly simplistic and shows a lack of awareness of a supervisory role. If that's what she thinks she can do she needs some pointers about how to improve and that includes her professional manner. As she doesn't seem to exhibit one.

You're there to see everything is getting done within the team and monitor performance, handle conflict and encourage development.

maras2 Wed 19-Nov-14 21:39:10

Set your dragons on the bitch grin

WildBillfemale Thu 20-Nov-14 08:41:51

She's trying the old tactic of implying hours of work = commitment to work. It's incredibly simplistic and shows a lack of awareness of a supervisory role

But reminds me of years ago when I had a part time manager who stated that she only came to work for a break from her kids and used to arrive and get out a bottle of nail polish and paint her nails!

She soon got moved on.

Hasle157 Thu 20-Nov-14 08:47:46

You're the authority here... but it doesnt need to be formal in the way that you deal with her. Next time she says something inappropriate you could tell her you would like a chat with her. But leave it a while let her sweat a bit. You're in control and you choose when.
she wont know what to expect which is always worse than actually having you speak to her.
Take her to one side when you're ready and you're both alone. Ask her why she has a problem with x,y,z. Then let her talk, let her feel uncomfortable. Be nice, but dont say a lot, frown and nod your head.
This might nip it in the bud. If it doesnt then go down the formal route. Firstly, show who's boss. You're her supervisor for a reason and you're quite entitled to question her behaviour. You can do it!

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