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Can't sleep sick panic think dp leaving

(11 Posts)
MadameLeBean Wed 19-Nov-14 00:16:09

Please is anyone awake

Things been horrid for ages, lack of trust & controlling behaviour (from me), angry outbursts and so much lying (from him), thought we had got past it, I had therapy, he is now, but apparently he did not realise until now how awful controlling and selfish I am.. Some of it is true but he also contributed to the dynamic - emotionally cold whenever he found anything difficult and denied me any true intimacy it was all carefully managed

Now he is full of resentment and anger I apparently took advantage of him to get the life I wanted and stability for my dd when I thought we were equal partners

He is asleep next to me but wants nothing to do with me until if/when he feels able to "opt back in" with a degree of autonomy which I understand but it's just so hard

He did this at the weekend and walked out then Sunday said sorry and we have still got issues to work out but he loves me now this?

I cannot sleep I feel sick and I have to go to a conference tomorrow how do I do this and stay strong for my dd

MadameLeBean Wed 19-Nov-14 00:17:08

Been together 5 years

ChippingInAutumnLover Wed 19-Nov-14 00:18:06


Where to start sad

How bad was the lying? Has he had an affair that you know of?

MadameLeBean Wed 19-Nov-14 00:19:52

No he's not cheated just loads of lying about pointless stuff and then stuff that would have been innocent but kept it from me coz I was unreasonably jealous (true)

HumblePieMonster Wed 19-Nov-14 00:20:10

Deep breaths, cherub. That's the way to go. Deep, slow breaths and one minute at a time.

Wouldn't bother trying to sort out the mess. Just say 'We'll see' and let it take its course.

MadameLeBean Wed 19-Nov-14 00:21:26

Thanks humble I can't even cry every muscle in my body so tense

ChippingInAutumnLover Wed 19-Nov-14 00:26:38

Do you wants to talk or sleep?

havemercy Wed 19-Nov-14 00:38:22

You are having symptoms of anxiety.

I completely understand where you are coming from, & the feelings you are experiencing. It helped me to see that when I feel this way it is only anxiety. And my feeling so anxious won't change anything that is happening.

Take deep breaths. Count your breaths. Take as long to exhale as it takes to inhale. Do you know any relaxation exercises? Can you tell yourself that you are not going to spend time thinking about this now,and pick a time tomorrow where you would be 'allowed' to catastrophise to your hearts content?

No relationship breaks up in 5 minutes. You will always have a chance to resolve things. This isn't the end. There is always a tomorrow.

MadameLeBean Wed 19-Nov-14 01:08:42

Thanks for all your kind words
I have thrown up a few times but feel more able to sleep now

ChippingInAutumnLover Wed 19-Nov-14 01:11:36

Oh sad

I was hoping you'd already fallen asleep. Try to sleep now, deal with everything else tomorrow.

CogitoErgoSometimes Wed 19-Nov-14 05:34:43

Would breaking up really be so bad? You both sound miserable and any relationship that manages to bring out the worst in two people rather than the best has to be questioned. You seem to be assuming you're a rotten person when chances are it's just a rotten match.

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