I have 2 small dcs and I work ft as a teacher. I enjoy my job and am ambitious. My dh is part time and flexible and extremely hands on. We have excellent childcare. My weekends and early evenings are sacrosanct time with my dcs, I play with them for 2/3 hours a day after work, sometimes co sleep if they need to, put them to bed and read stories every night and I do feel like I'm doing ok in terms of work life balance, and I get annoyed at the sexism I sometimes face when people imply I shouldn't be ft, or that it's weird that dh does more childcare than I do.
Anyway, we visited bil and sil at the weekend. Sil is a sahm with 2 small dcs and a fog and a cat and chickens in a v rural rambling home. And even though I shudder whm I think back to the days when I washing slowly insane on maternity with 2 dcs, I always come away from there feeling like maybe I'm getting it wrong and she's getting it right, as it all just seems so idyllic and relaxed, unlike the pace of our home life which is.a bit more frenetic (although we do enjoy the school hols!)
A sort of complicating factor in this, is, I'm ashamed to say, a degree of bitterness. Pil are extremely wealthy. They helped us with a deposit or buy a home which we are obviously grateful for, but when it came to bil and sil they were not in a position to get a mortgage so pil bought them a house outright. This is a big factor in sil not having to work and I do. But I also don't feel I could cope with feeling any more beholden to pil than I already do and I can't really understand how sil can sah knowing someone else is funding it. But sometimes when work gets too much I wonder why I don't just do what she does.
I basically need someone to tell me how to stop doubting myself and how to let go of these feelings of bitterness.
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Relationships
Wohms - do you ever doubt yourself?
susannahmoodie · 18/11/2014 19:15
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