In a nut shell, after several years I've come to realise I no longer find my DP sexually attractive and it's making me so sad.
I'm a very sexual person and a passionate frequent sex life is extremely important to me. There's always been a slight mismatch in this department but I've coped, however now I find myself not even wanting to make love anymore as I simply don't get turned on by my DP. I still feel horny on a daily basis, but just not for my DP and I'm ashamed to admit, more often than not I prefer to 'spend time alone' as at least in my brain I can have the exciting and passionate sex I crave.
The chemistry has never been fantastic, but now that the visual turn on element has gone for me, I just don't enjoy it that much anymore. The love is there, but there's a blockage in my brain that prevents me letting go and releasing the sexual pleasure side, often resulting in very mediocre and unsatisfying sex, at least from an emotional point of view and physical side too, sometimes.
Much of it stems from my DP letting themselves go, where I still make a significant effort to keep in shape and look my best. I've tried my best as delicately as possible to make my feelings know without hurting feelings, and I know the message gets across, but nothing happens.
I have to avoid looking at my DP naked as it's more of a turn off than a turn on, which again makes me sad. I know this must mean I'm very shallow, but I can't help the way I feel.
I can't pretend everything is ok, and the severe lack of quality sex is slowly killing the relationship. I guess I just want my DP to me more sexually aware. It's not that I can just ask for more sex, as I know I'd get it, but it wouldn't be the horny, let myself go stuff I want as I can't switch off my disappointed feelings. Also, despite trying, the technique is not very good even after instruction.
Dunno what answers I'm looking for, other than I know I'm not satisfied and really sad that I don't have the passionate feelings I want and feel I should have.
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Relationships
I don't find my DP attractive anymore
freshlycutgrass · 17/11/2014 22:17
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