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(10 Posts)
Andifyoudontfirstsucceed Mon 17-Nov-14 22:10:47

You know when things feel out of control? I feel that now. My husband is never home - always at work - or uni. I just feel like we no longer connect. I am sitting here panicing over being alone - and what I can do about it. I have really let myself go over the last 6 months (miscarry mom has cancer always alone) and have gained a lot of weight. Hubby lets me know this. We are barely ever intimate - and when we are its rather quick and all about him - when I tried to ask to spice it up - got a no...

Just dont really know what to do and am sat here near tears over it...

Walkacrossthesand Mon 17-Nov-14 22:56:46

I'm sorry. How long have you been married/together? Looking back, when & how did things start to go wrong? Can you talk to DH about how you are feeling?

Ihatechoosingausername Mon 17-Nov-14 23:01:28

At least you've got a partner. I'm sat here 40+4 weeks pregnant and i'm always f*cking alone

Twinklestein Mon 17-Nov-14 23:03:42

I'm not sure that a crap partner is better than none.

Tinks42 Mon 17-Nov-14 23:05:05

well time to take control of "yourself" then OP. its a self fulfilling prophecy isnt it.

Tinks42 Mon 17-Nov-14 23:09:20

Giving you a very loving "slap" here. You yourself think you have let yourself go, so you yourself can stop that.

Tinks42 Mon 17-Nov-14 23:13:12

oh, Ihatechoosing, having a very hard time there. Its allowed to say youre lonely.

batmanandrobin Mon 17-Nov-14 23:21:54

get some me time, maybe a massage, so you can relax and get your head straight. i have had a constant battle with eating disorders so feel the "let myself go" thing regularly.

im sorry to hear you miscarried, but maybe enhancing your lifestyle to become healthier may be a motivator if you're planning a next time. a few walks, maybe with DH so you can reconnect and chat together, or cooking a nice meal for the pair of you.

honestly always helps in relationships, let him know you acknowledge you may have "let yourself go" but that you're going to action change and would love his support.

best wishes xx

flapjackattack Tue 18-Nov-14 00:25:11

It doesn't sound as though you've got a lot of support. That is going to compound loneliness when you have a variety of stresses upon you.
Other than husband who can you draw upon for support?

tallwivglasses Tue 18-Nov-14 00:42:13

Your husband's a bit of a shit imho.

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