Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.


(5 Posts)
merrimug Mon 17-Nov-14 18:57:43

Hi, I'm relatively new to MN, so bear with!
I split from my boys Dad 2 years ago. We were together 12 years. It was very acrimonious, but long story short I walked away with nothing as the house was his and have managed to build a new life for us. In the beginning he had the boys (14 and 10) 2-3 nights a week. He then found out I had met someone and told the boys my new BF was 'bad news' and that I was a crap mother. He then only saw them one night a week.
Cut to 16 months ago and he met someone. I thought this would be good as it would bring stability to his life which could only be a plus for our children. Turns out new GF is an insecure nightmare who is jealous of me, our kids, his sisters and anyone who has a relationship with him. She fell out with his sisters the first few months of meeting him and when they took my boys on holiday came back after one night as she argued with them. Each time they split he comes to me moaning about her jealousy and how he walks on eggshells. Now I discover he has moved her and her daughter into his house and is only seeing our boys every Sunday for about 4-5 hours, my boys hate her. I have tried to explain to them that if she makes him happy they must try to like her for his sake. But they say she isn't making him happy and he is terrified of being alone. She has not made any attempts to build bridges so why should they. This dilemma is making me bitter and angry and its all I can do to stop myself going down there and letting rip. Although I am not like this normally. He has let this woman come between him and his sons and it devastates me. The biggest thing is there is NOTHING I can do about it. The boys seem ok. The youngest is more forgiving but the oldest won't have anything to do with her. Someone tell me it will get better. I hate feeling so angry and bitter.

InnocenceAndExperience Mon 17-Nov-14 20:04:24

I feel for you. Its so hard seeing someone upset your children like that.

Sadly I don't think there is much you can actually do.

How do you get on with your ex- now? Could you talk to him?

Cabrinha Mon 17-Nov-14 20:27:46

He hasn't let her come betwen him and your sons. He reduced the contact well before she was on the scene. He has chosen this.

Stop telling your boys they have to like her for his sake. Listen to their opinions.

They have a good mother, and regular if short contact with their father. They'll be OK.

I really feel for you, what an arsehole your ex sounds.

merrimug Mon 17-Nov-14 20:45:50

Thank you, I try to get on with him, but if I broach the subject of them staying over or him maybe having a little more contact he gets defensive and I get annoyed, I'm afraid we resort to the roles we played when together!
He is great financially and I know it could be a lot, lot worse. Just hate feeling like this and good to hear from other people. Again, thank you.

Pastmyduedate0208 Mon 17-Nov-14 20:48:36

It is 100% his loss and his bed to lie in.
Your dc will b old enough to choose for themselves whether to see their father.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now