So, h and I have known for a few months that we are separating. Due to DD's health, we have remained living in the same house, fairly amicably. It has been decided that I will move out, and, providing dd continues to recover as she is doing at present, we will have shared care.
There are no guarantees re DD's recovery, so our onward move is going to take a lot of consideration. She has mobility problems, and when her pain is bad she is unable to manage stairs.
There is a house for rent a few doors away from current house. I know the layout is ok as same as ours. H and I can share the load with dd, continue to attend her health appts together and see her every day.
She has friends in the street who she sees regularly out of school, and I have friends here too. I am worried about the effect on dd, would it be too strange for her knowing that if she looks out if her bedroom window she can see the other house where the other parent is IYKWIM.
However, would it be too close? I'm not thinking of this being a long term plan, and I realise that if one of us met another partner that things would need to change. Not that that is on the cards for me for a long time.
I feel like h is slipping back into pre split behaviours, controlling and bullying of me. I see what you mean re expense and things working, but I would move eventually as I don't want for dd to think that this is a normal relationship, whatever that is!
Phew... I thought you were talking about leaving your child, as well as your husband (men do that all the time, so it should be okay for women to do it), but I suppose it's more difficult to get your head around:- the thought of a mother leaving her child.
Talk about tempting fate, I had arranged to view the house later this week. Received a call from the agents to cancel as an application has been made.
Also, and more importantly, I think DD's pain is increasing She has just settled to sleep. True to form, h was useless, sharp with her in the few minutes he spent with her whilst I grabbed something to eat.
Am in tears, how can I leave and allow him to have care of dd when his parenting skills and attitude to her illness are so appalling? It doesn't matter if I am a few houses away or across the world, he isn't going to change from being the selfish bully he is now, even towards his daughter.
Did he agree to 50/50? If you don't want that then you can get some legal advice regarding becoming the resident parent. Start keep a diary/log of all the instances where he is impatient, nasty and bullying to you or DD. Times, dates, things said and done! Your poor DD. She has enough to deal with. Keep going and keep strong. Take the action YOU think is best for your DD.
You don't have to agree to 50/50 if that's not what's best for your DD. You say he is bullying and controlling so maybe you have been pressured into it. If he can't cope with her illness then he shouldn't have her half the time. If you are happy to leave the house then that is fine, is it owned? Just make sure you get your share of the equity if it is. Hope you fond somewhere soon, and yes keep records of how he can't cope.