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should I leave

(7 Posts)
jocker1400 Mon 17-Nov-14 13:01:48

Hiya. I have 3 kids, 2 grown up boys to a previous relationship and a 9 year old to my current live in partnership who is have been with for 11years. My eldest 2 have moved on into their own residents until recently one has had to return back to the house I co own with current partner. Needless to say he's not happy with the situation and is making it very apparent by ignoring my son and beinget off with me. The atmosphere at home is unbearable and I'm stuck in the middle. We have said some awful things to each other (partner) and now I'm feeling like he can't love me if he knows how bad I'm currently feeling about the whole situation. Yes my sons an adult, but he is still my son and he doesn't want to be at home either. His job is very unstable on zero contract hours etc.... I feel I must walk out because I shouldn't allow my partner to speak about my sons the way he does without any real reasons but I have a 9 year old who is wondering what the he'll is going on. I can't really afford to walk away and I can't stay. I work fulltime but not enough to cover rent, mortgage childcare etc and he has made it very clear that our daughter will stay with him even though he works away often. He thinks he has the right to pick and choose the days he has custody and this would change on a weekly if not day by day basis. The whole thing is making me feel ill. Should I stay for my daughter or leave to maintain a relationship with my sons.

hellsbellsmelons Mon 17-Nov-14 13:10:35

He's talking utter bollox about custody.
He can't take her.
And the court would make sure she has a good contact routine.
It won't be allowed to flip and change all the time as it won't be in her best interests.
I would suggest looking for a rental and taking your DS and DD with you.
Contact a solicitor for a free 30 mins consultation. That should put your mind at rest.
Don't listen to anything he says. He's an arse and he knows nothing!
If your son is working he will need to contribute.
Your OH will need to pay maintenance.
You will be entitled to more benefits.
Also contact CAB to see what you would get.
You may find you will be fine.

mccart467 Mon 17-Nov-14 15:25:13

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

jocker1400 Mon 17-Nov-14 15:56:56

Spell caster...Really!
'Hocus pocus' aint gonna fix this
Not what I was after

jocker1400 Mon 17-Nov-14 16:02:34

'mccart467' message deleted by MNHQ

Common sense prevails
(thankyou MNHQ)

OhForFoxSakeYourPullingMyChain Mon 17-Nov-14 16:26:18

what is it with this spell caster?
christ on a bike, jog on!
Jocker1400 -

I think in your heart you know what you have to do, but it is hard I know, but Mumsnetters provide great support, good luck ...

FinallyHere Mon 17-Nov-14 16:40:25

One of my stepsons need a home and lived with us temporarily: while i didn't tbh enjoy having to share my space with a relatively unknown adult man, and may have winged once or twice in private to my DH, it never occurred to me to seriously object.

Im sorry to hear about the reaction you have experienced, that is not the reaction of a decent person.

Do get some legal advice, the solution will be what is best for your child, not the selfish person with whom you are sharing your life. Hope it works out for you soon.

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