I have posted before on here about my possibly narcissistic dad, and golden child thing he seems to have with my older sibling.
I'm doing my best to resign myself to "he is what he is" but I'm 31 weeks pregnant, hormonal, and I think I just need a rant/hug/reassurance!! I'm going to be ranting a lot here :/
Few things have been getting on my nerves about him lately:
- I see him regularly, more than once a week, either for errands or to pay him a visit (I mentioned previously despite his issues he regularly helps with DIY or lifts as I don't drive..etc, so he does help and I really appreciate it)
- I've had a few complications with my pregnancy, appointments and emergency hospital visits, all have always been OK in the end and pregnancy still going OK. On my most recent visit I asked him if he could rush me from work to the hospital as they had a bed ready for me, which he did. When I was out I had texts from a friend who knew I'd gone in. My partner's parents were ringing and checking on me and him, asking if we need anything. I heard nothing from my dad so eventually called him to say I'm out of the hospital, got medication...etc And he just says "OK" and nothing else.. so I'm like "ok then bye..."
- Been thinking a lot lately about my degree, I completed a degree in business and management, while working full time, and all I got was "your brother didn't do a degree, was no point, he was too clever for the tutors", "A load of rubbish is this stuff nowadays"..etc...etc I never even went to my own graduation because I felt like it wasn't worth it.
- Just recently I got an audition for a popular TV show, got through the application and telephone process and due to go for a filmed audition in a couple of weeks. So I told everyone, and my dad. Everyone was saying things such as "So exciting!! oooh you'll get to meet so and so...etc"
My dad had heard of the program, but never watched it, so a few days later he said "I watched that program the other day" "It's a bit difficult for you isn't it?" "Well... no dad I quite enjoy it and always do well at home" "Well, home is different, just looked a bit difficult for you, anyway.. I got bored and switched it off so I don't know if they won" "Bit of a waste of money travelling there for an audition when you might not get on" (It's one bus journey into the city centre)
Now I have doubts about even bothering going :/
We've just decorated our babies room, and so we showed it him last time he was round, he wasn't interested at all (So much so even my OH was somewhat annoyed and he's never annoyed about things) and said "Your dad just didn't care did he?"
My OH says I'm my own worst enemy for telling him anything, and he's probably right. My OH's family are so supportive and wonderful, always proud of him, and look out for me, so it gets to me more than it used to when I could pretend everyone's family was like mine)
Then this weekend I was watching the X factor.. contestants parents coming on saying how proud they are of their children, how they always knew they would succeed, hugs and kisses and whatnot for the camera, ended up crying my eyes out, soft git!.
Stupid pregnancy hormones, don't know why I let it get to me. I'm being proper daft aren't I??
(I've probably outed myself with all the info above, so if you know me, that's just tough I guess...)