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Being ignored by boyfriend

(84 Posts)
St29 Mon 17-Nov-14 11:23:53

For the 2nd time in 6 weeks my boyfriend of 4 months is ignoring me. I've done nothing wrong. He's just stressed from work, from his ex playing games with contact with kids, and a bad cold. Why do men think this us acceptable ?

St29 Mon 17-Nov-14 11:25:10

First time it happened it lasted a week, no explanation other than what I'd said in paragraph. When he's not able to see kids he won't leave me alone.

Joysmum Mon 17-Nov-14 11:26:41

If this us happening this early on in the relationship I think you need to consider your options. It's not acceptable.

When people get upset or stressed they should be getting through with their partner by their side to share to load.

HermanSkank Mon 17-Nov-14 11:26:48

'Men' don't, on the whole. Your partner does, but that could be because he's a twat. Frankly, if you've had two episodes of 'ignoring' in the four months you've been together, you should probably just put this relationship out of its misery and end it now.

St29 Mon 17-Nov-14 11:29:55

Yea that's what I'm thinking. I think I deserve better. I forgave him last time, I don't think I can this time

VanitasVanitatum Mon 17-Nov-14 11:30:17

Get out before you get in any deeper.. Really selfish to make you feel that way, he should be able to communicate even if only to say he needs to get his head together etc

St29 Mon 17-Nov-14 11:33:47

That's what I think. He can manage to go on Facebook etc
But can't speak to me

Seriouslyffs Mon 17-Nov-14 11:35:30

It's not acceptable and you deserve better.
Dump him.

LubbaWubbaDubDub Mon 17-Nov-14 11:38:45

My ex did this to me throughout our marriage. It's not nice and it's EA.

There may be good reasons why he's ignoring you if he has ASD - but he wouldn't be communicating with anyone at all in that situation. So based on what you have written I would assume he's being a twat.

St29 Mon 17-Nov-14 11:42:07

I think things get on top of him but if he actually did something about his ex game playing he'd not be stressed. But still he responds to her games.even texts her in front of me.

Ladyfoxglove Mon 17-Nov-14 11:44:43

My ex was like this. Any minor blip related to work, his children, his ex-wife, he'd ignore me but he'd still go on Facebook, watch TV and go out with his mates and have a grand old time. When it ended and I asked him why he behaved that way, he said it was because he found it easier to put on a front with other people and Facebook / TV was an escape. He knew he was making excuses for poor behavior though.

hellsbellsmelons Mon 17-Nov-14 11:45:07

4 months in should still be the honeymoon period.
If it's hard work and he's making you unhappy already, time to step away from this relationship.
Get out there and find yourself a nice fun man who won't stonewall you!

St29 Mon 17-Nov-14 11:48:20

I find it very hard, cos on tues he said he wanted to do everything with me, and now ignoring me. Supposed to be going to a wedding together sat. Last week he wouldn't leave me alone

coalscuttle Mon 17-Nov-14 11:48:36

Not all men do it, only unpleasant men do. It's just an excuse to be unkind to you. If it wasn't his ex or work he would come up with another excuse, believe me.

St29 Mon 17-Nov-14 11:50:29

I can understand foxglove where your ex comes from. Mine won't let anyone know what's bothering him,

Leviticus Mon 17-Nov-14 11:50:34

He thinks it's acceptable because you let him treat you this way.

Disrespectful idiot. Ignore him back forever.

St29 Mon 17-Nov-14 11:51:27

To be honest he is very selfish and stubborn, not the man I first met at all

BitOutOfPractice Mon 17-Nov-14 11:55:23

Cut your losses op. Who needs this kind of shit so early on in a relationship? Or for that matter at any stage of a relationship! But being as its so early on you can move on and chalk it up to experience. There's loads of men out there who don't pull this kind of stunt. Find one of them

Blowmeonelastkiss Mon 17-Nov-14 11:56:00

They don't change.

talbotinthesky Mon 17-Nov-14 12:06:49

Maybe that's how he thinks you should treat people. I'd do the same back only not for a week, say permanently maybe ;)

St29 Mon 17-Nov-14 12:11:37

Well I've tried to contact today again but nothing, so gonna let him find me now

BaffledSomeMore Mon 17-Nov-14 12:15:32

If you put up with it then you're saying it's acceptable. Simple as that.

Charley50 Mon 17-Nov-14 12:30:41

Get rid. I learnt the hard way. People like this don't change. It's rude abusive and disrespectful. A normal guy would just call or text and say look I'm not feeling great but see you soon etc. This is passive aggressive behavior from emotionally incapable man.

LubbaWubbaDubDub Mon 17-Nov-14 12:35:23

I agree with BaffledSomeMore.

I put up with EA for a decade for what I thought would be the easy life. Mistake. I ended up becoming depressed, anxious and I lived in fear.

In my experience, nothing changes - even counselling didn't work. In the end I cut my losses and left.

St29 Mon 17-Nov-14 12:41:19

I feel depressed from it, and confused too. Like my friend said, when you part you wonder if today he will ignore you or speak to you

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