Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Help for my friend in a refuge

(3 Posts)
boggis Mon 17-Nov-14 10:52:25

I finally got my friend to a refuge and she�s there with her toddler. She feels relaxed but is not liking it that much as it is so isolated (she wasn�t in fear of her life, so much as emotional/financial abuse and threats to abscond etc) so travel to shops (which has to be regular given the tiny fridge) is so far etc. I think she�s overwhelmed by the enormity of the stop she has taken (she is from overseas and lived in very nice place etc) and lonely.

I am seeing her soon and she�s asked for a couple of things as she is waiting for benefits and I was going to give her a little cash to tide her over, but wondered what else?

Also, I have no idea how long a stay in a refuge can be � any examples?

Thank you

Castlemilk Mon 17-Nov-14 12:00:46

If she has a toddler, how about offering to 'sort out' Christmas for her little one? You could say something like, I know you currently won't have the time, internet access, address etc. to look for suitable or bargain things and get them delivered. How about you make me a list of things you'd like, I'll research and find cheapest/best, check with you first and will order for you, up to value of £x, and will keep things safe at my house. Happy for £x amount to be a gift, or you can wait until you're back on your feet to repay stuff if preferable.'

heyday Mon 17-Nov-14 21:36:53

I know space in a refuge is very limited indeed so how about suggesting a little trip somewhere, perhaps a meal out or try to get some reasonable theatre tickets. Lots of theatres do plays especially aimed at toddlers. I think they could probably do with some cheering up and something to look forward to.
My daughter has recently been placed in a refuge. It seems that most of them are rehoused in some way within a year and more typically about 8 months wait but of course it depends on area and where she applies for housing.
You could always get her a voucher that she can spend on something nice once she finally gets her own place.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now