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Help for my friend in a refuge

(3 Posts)
boggis Mon 17-Nov-14 10:52:25

I finally got my friend to a refuge and she�s there with her toddler. She feels relaxed but is not liking it that much as it is so isolated (she wasn�t in fear of her life, so much as emotional/financial abuse and threats to abscond etc) so travel to shops (which has to be regular given the tiny fridge) is so far etc. I think she�s overwhelmed by the enormity of the stop she has taken (she is from overseas and lived in very nice place etc) and lonely.

I am seeing her soon and she�s asked for a couple of things as she is waiting for benefits and I was going to give her a little cash to tide her over, but wondered what else?

Also, I have no idea how long a stay in a refuge can be � any examples?

Thank you

Castlemilk Mon 17-Nov-14 12:00:46

If she has a toddler, how about offering to 'sort out' Christmas for her little one? You could say something like, I know you currently won't have the time, internet access, address etc. to look for suitable or bargain things and get them delivered. How about you make me a list of things you'd like, I'll research and find cheapest/best, check with you first and will order for you, up to value of £x, and will keep things safe at my house. Happy for £x amount to be a gift, or you can wait until you're back on your feet to repay stuff if preferable.'

heyday Mon 17-Nov-14 21:36:53

I know space in a refuge is very limited indeed so how about suggesting a little trip somewhere, perhaps a meal out or try to get some reasonable theatre tickets. Lots of theatres do plays especially aimed at toddlers. I think they could probably do with some cheering up and something to look forward to.
My daughter has recently been placed in a refuge. It seems that most of them are rehoused in some way within a year and more typically about 8 months wait but of course it depends on area and where she applies for housing.
You could always get her a voucher that she can spend on something nice once she finally gets her own place.

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