Me and DH are at crisis point I think and I just don't know what to do anymore.
We had a big argument on Saturday night, I disagreed with him on something and we argued. despite the fact I disagreed I still followed through with the decision he had made (think DC punishment), he then proceeded to ignore me all Saturday evening sleeping in the spare room and ignored me Sunday morning when we had another argument about him ignoring me and he still gave me the silent treatment until last night when we had a massive row about it all, him saying the silent treatment was because I disagreed and me saying I should be able to disagree, by all accounts it was because I kept on and didn't just accept his decision.
In the row last night a lot of things came up and this seems to be the thing with us, I keep my mouth shut when I don't agree with him to avoid silent treatment, then it gets to boiling point and it blows up and it's about everything.
We seemed to get somewhere last night with me making it clear I cannot deal with silent treatment anymore and he needs to deal with disagreements like an adult, I also need to accept to won't always change his mind on things.
But today it feels surreal I'm very emotional and it feels like there's so much to deal with so much he doesn't like about me and things he does that I don't like.
We've been together 13yrs married for 8 have 3 DC DD12 DD4 and DS2. I don't just want to end my marriage because I do love him a lot but I feel so powerless to fix things.
There's so much more as well money arguments him wanting to save so much me saying we can't it's too much and that's me being negative.
Sorry for mammoth post if you've got this far I would live to hear what others think and have any ideas on how to resolve some of these things.
Tia
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When do you say enough is enough
Wouldyoulisten · 17/11/2014 10:27
I told him last night that the silent treatment is to shut me up and stop me arguing the next time and I will no longer accept that from him, he agreed he would try and stop doing it but I may need to remind him when he does it ifswim.
The thing was infact over a friend of DDs 12, the friend said something very disrespectful and he got very cross and said she had to go home I didn't agree that she should have gone home but because he had already told her I couldn't go back on that does that make sense. The friend of DDs is the DD of a some very close friends of ours and I knew that had I just told her parents she would have been told off so we didn't need to send her away.
I am feeling stronger when I disagree with him, he used to be able to turn things around and make them my fault or confuse me so I wouldn't know what I was disagreeing with in the first place but now I hold my own and make valid, rational arguments and I think this has shocked him.
I make him sound so awful, I have my faults too 
. He is a good man and most if the time we get on so well and out relationship is good but it's these things that seem so big and I don't know how to deal with it. I think perhaps counselling would be the best option.
Purple - he does agree that it's wrong and he deals with it in the wrong way, I've pointed out regardless we end up arguing even if he ignores me for 2 days, I end up getting so annoyed and blow up at him for ignoring me then we argue and end up talking and trying to find a resolution, so it would be healthier to do that at the outset and not prolong it. Me challenging him has been more recent since I've made a conservative effort not to allow myself to be talked around or confused ifswim so the last couple of yrs.
Attila - thank you for your response but you can only go on what I'm saying, and although this looks like EA I'm not convinced it is because he doesn't realise he's doing it and it is learnt behaviour. I asked him last night how his mum and dad used to argue and he said they didn't what his dad said went there was no discussion his dad was always right . So I can see exactly where he has learnt this from.
He is open to my suggestions when we talk reasonably and will listen to me and acknowledge when I am right when I am right but it's when he thinks I'm wrong and I think he is
Wrong that the silent treatment begins.
One thing I'm really not sure on is how we decide who has the
Most valid point. If we disagree on something how do we decide who is more valid ? I'm not talking opinion because we can agree to disagree but if it's something like Saturday night, he thought she should go home and I didn't how do you decide what to do from there without argument.
I hope that makes sense
I have been feeling much better and rational about things as the day has gone on and can see we can deal with this it will be hard but we can.
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