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Sockgate - What would you make of this?

(129 Posts)
pinkandpurplebottle Sun 16-Nov-14 19:08:26

I recently got back together with my boyfriend, whom I had been dating for about 6 months. We split up about a month ago but decided to give it another go last week.

We have just spent the weekend together. Had a lovely day on Saturday, but by the afternoon I was absolutely shattered having had a very busy and stressful week so decided to have a nap. He was very nice, let me rest and cooked me a nice meal in the evening. I had also been a bit tearful, as had a terrible week at work, lots of stress and I think it all came to the surface in the evening.

Anyway, he popped out to the shops to get some stuff for his meal. I got out of bed and realised I didn't bring a spare pair of socks so went into his sock drawer and put on a pair of his. Later on, when we were sat on the sofa, he noticed that I was wearing his socks. He points it out and tells me to take them off and give them back to him. I just sort of laugh it off but it turns out he was serious. He then gets very huffy about it. I said to him that I didn't realise they were meaningful to him and that I didn't take them off because I thought he was joking when he told me he was upset about me wearing them. I told him that if it was the other way around, i.e. him borrowing a pair of my socks at my house I wouldn't be bothered so that is why I didn't see it as a problem (also he wasn't in to ask at the time). He then says that it touched a nerve with him because he has lost several nice items of clothing to girlfriends who have 'borrowed' things in the past like nice jumpers etc who never gave them back. He said that I was being unreasonable because he had made me dinner and had looked after me all afternoon because I was feeling down and I can't reciprocate by listening to his feelings. When we got to bed he was huffing and puffing about it. I told him I was sorry and could we just leave it. He said things like 'This is the reason why it's not working out between us' and 'I've been a fool' (meaning about us getting back together). I was so tired, I just wanted to get to sleep but he kept wanting us 'talk it out', I felt there wasn't really anything to talk about.

This morning started off as being abit awkward. We managed to make up later but, I don't know, it just seems so petty! I also don't like the idea that I'm not allowed to borrow stuff, it made me feel like a thief or I didn't mean anything to him. I also don't like that he would through in stuff about whether we should be together.

What is going on here? Would other people go all funny about a boyfriend/girlfriend borrowing an item of clothing without asking?

tattychicken Sun 16-Nov-14 19:11:43

YANBU. Sounds like a weird sock possessive freak. Were they made of gold?

FabULouse Sun 16-Nov-14 19:12:34

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

lightningstrikes Sun 16-Nov-14 19:17:37

Get out now. Seriously. He is showing you that he is a petty, petty man who wants to beat you over the head with imagined transgressions. This isn't going to work out. He has issues. It isn't you.

holeinmyheart Sun 16-Nov-14 19:20:29

I think if he thinks your relationship will not work out because you borrowed his socks then you are looking at a uptight control freak.
If you stay with him and in the future you have children, don't think for a moment it will improve his tolerance. Having children is a million times more stressful than you borrowing his socks. Not only will you be walking on eggshells but you will have the task of seeing that the DCs do so as well. So they don't annoy daddy! Be warned.
Leave him.

ChasedByBees Sun 16-Nov-14 19:22:38

That sounds so tiresome. Cut your losses.

FelicityGubbins Sun 16-Nov-14 19:23:33

I could understand him being a bit hmm if you were sat on the sofa in his underpants, but throwing a massive wobbler for borrowing a pair of socks?
That's just odd..

CaptainAnkles Sun 16-Nov-14 19:24:29

Nope, I don't think I'd be putting up with that. Weird, possessive, petty, selfish and also making noises about wanting to finish it anyway? Get out now.

Mrsgrumble Sun 16-Nov-14 19:27:16

He sounds selfish and wierd actually

Dh loves me wearing his stuff, he thinks its cute.

To be honet if its this hard now, what will be be like when real problems arise?????

ThePinkOcelot Sun 16-Nov-14 19:31:03

I would cut your losses OP. If he is like that over a pair of socks, what would he be like over something that actually mattered?!

divetastic Sun 16-Nov-14 19:32:32

Why did you break up the first time? Have whatever those issues were actually been resolved?

flatbellyfella Sun 16-Nov-14 19:33:29

Run for the hills!!!!!!

Only1scoop Sun 16-Nov-14 19:35:10

Blimey I wonder what happened to the girlfriend who borrowed a ....t shirt....shock

Escape from this displeased man sounds like he has some issues

Only1scoop Sun 16-Nov-14 19:36:22

Does he need all his socks to stuff down his pants?

Perhaps that is why he was so rattled by it.

SelfLoathing Sun 16-Nov-14 19:40:38

He's told you what the problem is:

^ He then says that it touched a nerve with him because he has lost several nice items of clothing to girlfriends who have 'borrowed' things in the past like nice jumpers etc who never gave them back.^

He's being a bit unreasonable and weird about it but there you go. He has an issue with it.

But to amplify this into "This is the reason why it's not working out between us' and 'I've been a fool' (meaning about us getting back together" is very odd.

If Angelina Jolie had been sitting in his flat wearing his sock, it probably wouldn't have been such a big deal.

Sounds to me like he is using this a hook upon which to either fix an in-coming dumping or as to set you up as an on/off FWB occassional casual shag when he feels like it.

Having said that it's relevant as to why you broke up (reasons - did you steal a jumper?!?) and who's decision it was? Also why you got back together.

For example, if he dumped you and you basically instigated the reconcilliation, then my theory of the hook holds a lot more credence than if you dumped him because you'd met someone else it didn't work out with.

DistanceCall Sun 16-Nov-14 19:41:05

It depends. He says that he has lost valued objects to previous girlfriends, so he may be touchy about the subject. You should make it clear to him that you didn't mean to keep his things, and had only taken the socks without asking because he wasn't around and didn't think he'd mind. And then make sure that you ask every time you need something.

If this is his only foible - or one of just a few - then I would let it go. If it's a symptom of a general trend in his behaviour (kicking up enormous fusses about nothing) then run.

SelfLoathing Sun 16-Nov-14 19:41:18

LOL @ my typo - *Angelina Jolie wearing his sockS

fluffyraggies Sun 16-Nov-14 19:42:09

Oooh seriously odd.

Not good OP. Why did you break up last time?

TheLittleOneSaidRollOver Sun 16-Nov-14 19:42:12

Dating six months?

It doesn't even matter who is right or wrong here (certainly sounds like him though).

You are not compatible.

Dump him.

He said things like 'This is the reason why it's not working out between us' and 'I've been a fool' (meaning about us getting back together).

Don't wait for him to dump you. Dump him.

SelfLoathing Sun 16-Nov-14 19:42:43

PS: Also now wondering if in fact the actual issue is something he had in his sock drawer that he didn't want you see...

mmmuffins Sun 16-Nov-14 19:42:56

This is very strange behaviour. Definitely a red flag OP.

Lampy Sun 16-Nov-14 19:45:17

He sounds like a prize dick i'm afraid.

Reverse the situation. Would you ever in a million years act like he did about some socks?

Bagoffrogs Sun 16-Nov-14 19:46:06

Sounds a bit more like he didn't want you snooping in his drawers and covered it up with the ridiculous 'girlfriends borrowing items of clothes' story ?

SelfLoathing Sun 16-Nov-14 19:49:14

Yeah Bagoffrogs on reflection I also wonder if that's the true problem.

Ratracerunner Sun 16-Nov-14 19:50:15

Oh ffs who has time for such a petty arse in their lives? OP he sounds tedious and who knows what the reasoning is behind his sock issues, but life is too short to waste time on this type of twattishness.

Get rid and find someone normal

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