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So I have finally broken free

(10 Posts)
afreshstartplease Sun 16-Nov-14 07:47:12

Dead end relationship for many years now
Three beautiful dc
Me doing 90% of everything
Him a nasty aggressive drunk
Him a complete man child who expects to live as though he is 18

And I snapped. He lied. He chased other women. Online at least but probably in rl too

And I don't care
Im not angry
I'm not upset

I'm glad
Means I can once and for all kick him to the curb

I have name changed btw as this and previous posts may make me identifiable

Quitelikely Sun 16-Nov-14 08:12:20

Well done. I hope you can find the strength and courage to keep him at bay as the next coming weeks will be tough. You may start doubting yourself etc but you must try to look at the bigger picture.

This man is a terrible role model for your dc and he isn't who you want them to be. You don't need them looking to your relationship thinking that's what it should be like in a marriage because it isn't.

I'm no angel or stranger to conflict (thanks to my first marriage) but believe me when you are in a relationship with mutual love and respect the feeling of it is just amazing. I've got no doubt something like this is on the cards for you in the future (I'm not psychic btw!) but hold onto the thought that you and the dc deserve better.

He won't change so you are the one who needs to take control of your life and start the changes from this moment on.

Will he try to come back do you think?

however Sun 16-Nov-14 08:12:52

Good for you. :-)

Make sure you DO kick him to the curb.

afreshstartplease Sun 16-Nov-14 08:15:00

I expect he will

We have separated before but never for more than a month

He usually worms his way back

However we usually separated due to him being aggressive or bone idle. Not him chasing women.

I really want to make it through this

I am concerned though with it being right before Christmas but then if I don't do it now I probably never will

QueenieBaxter Sun 16-Nov-14 08:24:42

I am 4 months on from doing this and it was the best decision I ever made. Our home is a different place, it's happy and no one feels like they have to tread on eggshells. Ex has tried to worm his way back in, promising to change, etc but I have not even been tempted. I was worried about the children but they are fine!
You are very brave and are doing the right thing.

afreshstartplease Sun 16-Nov-14 08:49:39

Thankyou queenie

It's good to hear from someone who has come out the other side

bobkane Sun 16-Nov-14 11:06:54

Good for you! and whatever you do, don't let him back, some people will never change. It'll be tough, on you and DC (I know), but keep in mind how much better yours and their lives will be.

ChippingInAutumnLover Sun 16-Nov-14 11:10:32


Well done!! Stay strong, you can do this. Christmas is one bloody day, don't ruin your life over it. You can make it a fab one for the kids just by being happy and losing the tension in your home! X

afreshstartplease Sun 16-Nov-14 11:25:45

Do I need to speak to my dc? Eldest is nearly seven

innerstrength100 Sun 16-Nov-14 18:22:25

You've done the right thing.

My kids were similar age when I split with their Dad, and I did an upbeat "something important to tell you, Mummy and Daddy don't love each other as much as they used to so we've decided to split up. Not to worry; all that means is that Daddy isn't going to sleep here, he will sleep somewhere else, but you will still see him lots and everything else will carry on as normal."

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