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A virtually unconscious woman and a man feeding her alcohol

(76 Posts)
FreudianGymSlip Sun 16-Nov-14 01:34:30

I told the bar staff that I was very worried about the welfare of a woman in the bar who was drunk and who then became virtually unconscious but who I could clearly see was being woken up and fed more alcohol by her 'partner.' He was also partially undressing and fondling her in the full view of the other people.

I told the bar staff again about my concern. They said this is a couple who come in often and it isn't nice. I asked them if this woman has children and they didn't know. I came home and rang 101 to report my worry and they might get a patrol car out but they're busy.

I can't remember when I've felt so nauseous without there being an organic reason. This man is known locally as a trader, I didn't recognise either of them. I've done all I can, yes?
I got the feeling from the bar staff that they've seen it before with these two people but take it as 'this is what they do' and from the 101 that it didn't look like a date-rape thing and they would prioritise it in terms of what else they had coming in.

I am very upset and worried about this woman. I'm not going to know what happened am I? I can't tell you how much I wanted to get up and punch his fucking lights out from the moment I clapped eyes on his behaviour (and I know I wasn't alone).

BastardGoDarkly Sun 16-Nov-14 01:41:51

Urgh how horrible sad

Yes,I think you've done all you can, I'm glad you phoned 101, you never know, they may get round there and at least give her a wake up call.

Tobyjugg Sun 16-Nov-14 01:49:12

You have done all you could and drawn the police's attention to the fact (if they didn't know it already) that they have a shite run boozer on their patch. Once upon a time serving drinks to those deemed drunk and incapable was an offence and could cost the bar its licence. Yet another unintended consequence of reforming the licencing laws.

FreudianGymSlip Sun 16-Nov-14 02:00:38

Toby thank you. If I can do nothing else I can at least pursue the issue you raise. I am going to report to the licensing authority what I (and my friends) saw, and I am going to report the responses of the staff of the pub. angry

ChippingInAutumnLover Sun 16-Nov-14 02:04:40

Would it not have been possible to wait and keep an eye on her until the police turned up? Or to get her to go with you?

It's no wonder you felt sick, I feel awful just reading it sad

Tobyjugg Sun 16-Nov-14 02:06:14

If it was a pub owned by a brewery, tell them as well. Breweries are very sensitive about the reputation of their outlets.

Tobyjugg Sun 16-Nov-14 02:08:02

Chipping on a "busy" Saturday night they might not have been able to come at all.

FreudianGymSlip Sun 16-Nov-14 02:20:40

Chipping apart from this couple we were the last to leave the bar (because I was prolonging things). After I first reported to the bar staff i had my eye on her (as did my friends) right up until then. I rang 101 as soon as I got home after I'd repeated my concerns to the bar staff and was met with a sort of hopeless acknowledgment on their part sad.

Toby It isn't a brewery pub. I shall be pursuing this. The bar staff were all younger than this man and woman and me but had clearly heard this kind of concern before. It isn't right that one person should be fed alcohol. It was abuse in my eyes. Very public and very upsetting and I'm worried about her.

ChippingInAutumnLover Sun 16-Nov-14 02:22:50


Maybe you could ring the bar tomorrow and see if the police did turn up or not. If they did it might make you feel less concerned and if they didn't you aren't any worse off than you are now.

Other than speak to the manager I don't know that there's anything else you can do really sad

Tobyjugg Sun 16-Nov-14 02:22:54

"Abuse" too right. In certain circumstances it could be causing death by poisoning!

kelell17 Sun 16-Nov-14 02:23:36

hi OP ... I agree ur right to be worried, I work for the police ( altho not an officer ) and I shudder when out very occasionally ( due to my dc's ) drinking at the number of women so plastered they dont know whats going on and the bar staff still serving them/the bloke they r with ( or has leeched onto them ) more staff have the right to refuse to serve ANYONE esp if they are very drunk or the person they are buying drinks for is... I'm glad u reported it to 101 but sadly on a busy sat night ut may not be a priority...pls report it in the morning too to the management of this pub/club....tell them it made u and others feel uncomfortable to drink there and u have reported such to the police due to concerns for the woman....hopefully this will lead to better training for thier bar staff that allow this to happen...I really hope this lady is ok and if u see her again maybe make a beeline for her as she stumbles to the ladies ( ive done this before myself ) and ask if she wants u to book her a taxi home and wait with her till it arrives...we shouldnt have to do this on a night out I know this is part of what bouncers/door staff are (supposed to be ) trained to spot and deal with but unfortunately hardly any bother....
well done for trying to help tho as many will have seen the same thing and not bothered!

CrazyOldBagLady Sun 16-Nov-14 02:25:39

This would upset me too, and it is commendable that you took action. I think you have done all you can really. Hopefully the police will take it seriously. It might be worth shaming the establishment by leaving a negative review on any sites they appear on and emaling the management?

Tobyjugg Sun 16-Nov-14 02:28:12

This is one for the licencing authority. They have licenced a badly run bar and they have the power (and duty) to take steps to make it clean up its act.
I've just gone onto the Crown Prosecution website and it is still an offence to sell or obtain alcohol for a drunk. Section 142 Licensing Act 2003. I think you were witnessing an offence under the Act. If the link works here it is:

FreudianGymSlip Sun 16-Nov-14 02:38:04

Yes, I will be reporting it. Thanks for the link Toby, absolutely from what the legislation says the the law was broken.

Zazzles007 Sun 16-Nov-14 06:11:42

My god Freudian what you have described is horrendous and disgusting. that poor, poor woman sad. I hope she gets it together enough to leave that abusive arsehole. Plying her with alcohol so that she could not give consent, then sexually assaulting her in full view of the public - makes me so angry. And the bar staff did absolutely nothing about it, other than let him buy her more drinks!!!

manaboutthemaison Sun 16-Nov-14 07:51:33

I own 2 ( soon to be 3 ) pubs, we are sooo hot on this and as well as underage drinking, I have absolutely no problem with my shift managers / staff refusing to serve people and / or throwing someone out if they seem to be taking advantage of someone.

ReadyToBreak Sun 16-Nov-14 07:59:52

You meed to report it to your local licensing officer.

Calling 101 was a good call.

If you see something like that again the guy can be removed from the premises and the girl taken to a place of safety, eg medical room/staff to to check she is ok and to get her home safely.

Just breaking the situation up can prevent further issues.

Poor girl!

Westendgal Sun 16-Nov-14 08:19:07

IMO the bar staff were definitely at fault to continue supplying alcohol. Unbelievable.

FreudianGymSlip Mon 17-Nov-14 08:48:04

Just to update and thank those who pointed me in the right direction. I have spoken to the licensing officer at my local council this morning and they are going to raise a joint police and licensing investigation. I shall be making a statement at some point (as will the people I was out with I guess). Hopefully something positive will happen.

Thank you.

Joysmum Mon 17-Nov-14 08:55:50

Good for you. The fact that you witnessed this once was one thing, but the accepting reactions of the staff indicating this was an ongoing pattern if behaviour just makes me shockangry

Missrabbitshouldjoinaunion Mon 17-Nov-14 09:01:09

Well done you for raising. The only other thing I can think of which might have been useful is videoing it on your phone to give to the police as evidence? Is this allowed?

kentishgirl Mon 17-Nov-14 09:07:55

Good for you. don't expect any thanks from the woman though :-(

Moln Mon 17-Nov-14 09:19:46

I've worked as bar staff and the abuse you get for refusing to serve drinks is unreal. I recall having bile spewed at me for requesting car keys off one as he couldn't walk and was planning on driving. I'm quite sure this is why it's not often drinks ars refused, also as just staff it's a tough call if the manager hasn't initiated it.

Never saw that situation though, I think if I had I would have done something, no more drinks for certain, and possibly called the police. I was young working in the bar - were they male staff?

Zazzles007 Mon 17-Nov-14 09:19:51

Great update Freudian, thanks.

Tobyjugg Mon 17-Nov-14 10:25:14

Thanks for the update. You did the right thing (if that sounds slightly patronising -it's not meant to be).

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