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aibu-what would you think?

(22 Posts)
bettereveryday Sat 15-Nov-14 21:45:42

Im not sure if this is a right place for it but hopefuly you will tell me IABU smile
well is about being friends with other couples, which is great but i do find kissing all of them on cheek every time i see them bit over the top. If I see them at school in the morning, the men would come to me and kiss ..if they are doing the afternoon pick up they would kiss me again…they kiss me more than my husband!
ive to say one ( out of 3 who do it) slowly is getting the message as he just smiles and nods his head now ( i much prefer that) but one in particular always does it…a while ago it was other mums standing ( the friendly ones that we would meet up outside school) outside the school I was coming with yet another friend ( there are 6 couples Im talking about) and Id just say hello, but he came to me and said ' cmon gorgeous give me a kiss I havent seen you for ages' again he didnt kiss our other friend…he is a nice guy but he does calls me gorgeous in front of his wife, tbh to start with I thought he was addressing my baby girl ( when she was a abbay when we met).

so my question is how do I stop that kissing game, Im not this kind of person and how do i sop an adult man calling me gorgeous ( and only me our of 6 other women?)..I think some do get the message Id always kiss my female friends if we met for a meal..or in that case husbands when we go out for a big party but not everyday at school gate?

Vivacia Sat 15-Nov-14 21:47:34

Are you in France?

bettereveryday Sat 15-Nov-14 21:48:28


Quitelikely Sat 15-Nov-14 21:49:28

'Not today, I have a cold'

Windywinston Sat 15-Nov-14 22:03:05

Firmly put out a hand for shaking and (this bit is important) DO NOT LEAN FORWARD. Not only does it send a message, but also creates a sort of physical barrier. It might take a couple of attempts to get the message across, but be firm and it should work.

bettereveryday Sat 15-Nov-14 22:04:48

good idea, hand shake why didnt i think about it before..

Windywinston Sat 15-Nov-14 22:06:38

It was a tip given to me when I was in a similar predicament. I couldn't believe I hadn't thought of it myself either!

FunkyBoldRibena Sat 15-Nov-14 22:06:48

Sneeze on him just as he is coming in.

Catsmamma Sat 15-Nov-14 22:08:19

can't you visibly shudder and point at him and say "bogey!"

...otherwise the hand out for a handshake it a brilliant ds1 did this once with an over affectionate cousin, it's got real comedy value too if you get your timing right.


Start having a 'coughing fit' as they lean in. ;-D

bettereveryday Sun 16-Nov-14 11:38:42

thanks ladies

SelfLoathing Sun 16-Nov-14 12:44:07

I have the same problem with some relatives. Anyone got any tips for dealing with them?

The handshake won't work as it's too formal. I think I need to say something. I'd prefer just to say hello rather than any kind of physical contact at all. How to end all this kissing

Windywinston Sun 16-Nov-14 12:47:03

Can you loiter behind someone else and just wave and say hello? This is another tactic I use when I can't be doing with all the kissing.

Rodion Sun 16-Nov-14 12:54:42

Paint a big festering cold sore on your lip with some stage makeup - they'll keep their distance without you have to say a thing!

noseyfrog Sun 16-Nov-14 12:58:10

This is weird... Kisses are for when you haven't seen someone for a while or of you're both excited about an event you've met at.
I second the handshake thing

SelfLoathing Sun 16-Nov-14 14:39:37

LOL @Rodion

What if I don't want to spend the rest of my life looking like a festering leper at family events? any other ideas?

InVinoHumiliatas Sun 16-Nov-14 15:27:56

You need to develop your 'fuck off' vibes. Agree with the not leaning towards thing. Envisage a personal space boundary around you, like a force field.

Rodion Sun 16-Nov-14 15:28:32

Ah but the beauty of the cold sore is once they know you get them they won't risk kisses again - who knows when one is about to errupt?

Rodion Sun 16-Nov-14 16:27:48

Btw, not trying to trivialise your problem with my silly suggestion; it really does sound odd and would make me feel uncomfortable too. It's a hard one to back out of once a precedent has been set.

The handshake seems like an awkward step backwards after ages of friendly kisses. Could you start your greeting from a bit further back - wave and shout 'hi good to see you' as you walk towards them, then launch into conversation (with them or someone else) so that it would be weird for them to interrupt and starting kissing you?

Joysmum Sun 16-Nov-14 20:06:46

Say hi and bend to do a shoelace or say hi and then immediately fiddle to get something out of your bag.

bettereveryday Sun 16-Nov-14 20:33:28

haha love the cold sore idea..I do walk in and say hello, and start a conversation but it didnt work last tiem he came to em and said..cmon give me a kiss..LOL…I do feel overwhelmed sometimes tbh..x as I said one or two of them do get it now and they do wave and smile or just say hello…the rest need to get it..

FolkGirl Mon 17-Nov-14 05:38:32

I always make sure my body is angled slightly away; I don't lean in; I pretend I'm getting something out of my bag...

If someone laughs and says, "come on give me a kiss". It's easy to say, "no chance" and laugh or whatever.

Or are you implying you think some of them fancy you?

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