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Relationships

Green Flags

69 replies

Catzeyess · 15/11/2014 18:52

Just had a green flag moment with my DH and wanted to share (and to hear some of yours!)

I have just been to the supermarket and managed to really stupidly scratch the car - we don't have much cash to fix it at the moment and I feel awful/embarrassed. Growing up my dad would have gone apeshit at me if I had done that and so (completely irrationally as my DH is lovely) I was worried DH would be angry. Instead I get home and tell him and he asked me if I was ok, checked the car, gave me a massive hug, said don't worry he reckons it will buff out. Then he made me a cup of tea told me to sit and chill while he unpacks all the shopping and is now making dinner.

Anyone else got any lovely green flag stories for a damp sat evening?

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Birdiegirl · 15/11/2014 18:59

That's so lovely OP my DH is like that too. My father would have gone mental in the same situation. I thank God everyday that I didn't marry a man like him!

Give your DH a big hug and appreciate the lovely man you have. Smile

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Vivacia · 15/11/2014 19:02

Reading this was a bit spooky Catz. 14 years on and I am still surprised when DP doesn't go apeshit at me for carelessness or accidents. I am so conditioned to expecting that reaction. Sometimes it makes me a bit weepy to realise that if it weren't for his good role modelling I'd probably be repeating the cycle with our children.

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Catzeyess · 15/11/2014 19:06

Totally! In so many ways my DH has helped me heal from some of the dysfunctional things my dad did growing up!

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wearymum73 · 15/11/2014 19:07

Soon after being separated, I managed to scratch my car, my only thought was, thank god I don't have to admit this to him, I would have got so much grief for it.
Your DH is a star Smile

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something2say · 15/11/2014 19:11

Here's an early green flag from my boyfriend.


He is a session musician Anne came back from this session once saying that a ma had come in to play harmonica on a track. When speaking and playing, the man he stood on one leg to play, pretending he was an aeroplane. Now I am very liberal and accepting and I was wondering whether he'd tell about how they all took the piss. But no, he told about what a great musician the man was and how no one had said anything anout him standing on one leg with both arms out in the air to speak..... Made me think he was a really nice man, that did. And funny enough, he is!

Will enjoy this thread.

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Pastmyduedate0208 · 15/11/2014 19:42

I am worried about having to be induced for our 1st lo.
My fella has written 2 songs to help entice the baby out, and has come back from the shops with red roses, and has done so much around the house while i am firmly instructed to relax.

He is covered in green flags!

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saintsandpoets · 15/11/2014 19:48

I spilled champagne down DH's chest, 15 minutes into an all night party. I was in a ball gown, he was in white tie. He just kissed me on the forehead and said it didn't matter.

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Hatespiders · 15/11/2014 20:17

I get occasional bouts of terrible vertigo and can't get my head off the pillow sometimes for days on end. My lovely DH holds the bucket while I'm sick and even have to use it as as a temporary loo, then washes my face and helps me to drink some water. I'm always ashamed at being such a burden at these times, but he only smiles and says "Mais je suis ton epoux cheri!" - But I'm your husband darling. (We speak in French mostly.) An African Angel!

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Daria01 · 15/11/2014 22:56

Aww this thread is lovely Smile

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Greta28 · 16/11/2014 00:57

My husband made me pancakes, fresh coffee, and is now started cleaning the flat whilst I'm catching up on mumsnet.

My friend lives overseas and for her bday her OH flew in friends sister as a total surprise. It was the best present anyone had given her. I think it's an amazing thing he did:)

I love this thread, please let's post many as it's lovely. Whether it's about your current partner, an Ex, or someone you know

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Givesyouhell · 16/11/2014 08:20

My partner makes me feel safe and loved all the time. He loves me, quirks and all and is kind, gentle and never says a bad word about anyone. I watched him yesterday with his 13 year old son who had a headache. He sat in a cafe gently rubbing his sons temples until his son said he felt better. Made me feel all mushy!

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WalkWithTheLonelyOnes · 16/11/2014 08:24

A green flag for me is a man who loves his children and makes an effort to be a proper dad if he has seperated from the mum. Too many stories of useless dads. Good ones seem rare

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Ledkr · 16/11/2014 08:25

First time my dh saw me ranting at my teenagers, I was thinking he'd probably wonder what he got himself into and leave.
He came up behind me and quietly said "come away, you'll give yourself a bloody hernia" Grin

He went on an already booked lads holiday which of course made me nervous as we had inky been together a shirt time.
The first day I got flowers saying he already missed me!!

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yougotafriend · 16/11/2014 09:16

Sadly I have nothing to add, but I love this thread and reading about the good guys out thereSmile

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CatKisser · 16/11/2014 09:35

Never had a decent boyfriend but enjoying reading, nonetheless!

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NamesNick · 16/11/2014 09:35

how refreshing to read this thread Smile

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fairypond · 16/11/2014 09:45

This sounds lovely, and has given me added resolve to never get into my DH's car again.

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FreudianGymSlip · 16/11/2014 10:16

How lovely to read such affirming examples of Green Flag behaviour. I hope there are more to come Smile

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Meerka · 16/11/2014 10:24

Husband was, ahem, a bit ... no nice way to say it. He was a jerk when we moved in together. We stayed together for the baby that turned up despite all precautions.

Over time he's become better and better and better and better. In my first HG preg he was out partying with friends 4 nights a week. This time he was just there, uncomplainingly emptying the sickbucket, hiring a pee-stool, looking after our older boy, doing best to clean the house ... rubbing my back when I was upchucking endlessly. He was lovely.

One time when he broke a promise, I hit the roof. When I came out of the hairdresser's later, there was a bike in the busy bikestand that was completely covered in red roses all over, from lower wheels to handlebar to chain to brakes. Just covered. I thought "oh that's nice!" while looking for my bike ... then realised it -was- mine :D Such a lovely apology.

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RedBushedT · 16/11/2014 10:29

I'm in a long distance relationship. I drove to his one weekend, early in our relationship. Had a horrendous journey and arrived desperate for a wee & shattered and stressed. He met me outside, parked my car in his miniscule parking space for me and when we went into his, he had run a hot bath for me, had dinner on and a cup of tea ready. Smile
Huge green flags for me. He is so thoughtful and make me feel loved and cherished all the time.

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Monroe · 16/11/2014 10:30

One of mine is car related too. I was 5 months pregnant with DD when I had a bump in the car. I was dreading telling Dh (he loves his car) He gave me a massive hug and checked I was okay and when I started blubbing about the car he told me not to worry, it's only a lump of metal and as long as me and baby were okay that was all that mattered.

Last night he sat and built a model airplane with ds. Even after ds wandered off to watch TV he sat patiently completing it because ds wanted him to. He's lovely Smile

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PrettyPictures92 · 16/11/2014 10:51

This is a really lovely thread Flowers

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HellBoundNothingFound · 16/11/2014 10:51

I scraped the car a few days back, told DH, he laughed and said it'll add character Wink mind you, he's scratched and dented the car more than I ever could. Nice to hear about green flags!

DH is so laid back but not too much. He's passionate about things that matter, he's my perfect match Grin

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Catzeyess · 16/11/2014 11:47

Ah so lovely to hear your stories! Smile

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Hatespiders · 16/11/2014 14:40

It's a lovely idea for a thread and such moving posts about the nice guys. I so wish that women suffering in awful relationships could read these posts and learn just what life can be like with a kind, loving and committed man. So many of these women are 'putting up' with horrible treatment thinking it's all you can expect.

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