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Should I start divorce proceedings, or preserve the status quo?

(3 Posts)
pebblestack Sat 15-Nov-14 15:01:29

H & I have been separated for 2 years (he had a long affair, the fallout was awful, I eventually gave up and asked him to go)

He earns a lot more than me and is generous with his money. He still pays the mortgage on the family home that I live in with the kids, as well as his own rent. He continues to pay his wages into a joint account which I am invited to dip into when I need to, which is quite often but only ever for child-related things. I pay my own bills.

He comes over to do the garden, some DIY. We are not warring over children or money. The situation is comfortable for me, though complicated a bit by him deciding that he loves me and wants to try again when I don't.

Anyway, I'd quite like to be in a clearer financial situation, so I can move forward, make plans and feel properly in control of my life. e.g. My Mum has downsized recently and dished out some of the profit to my siblings, but I don't want to take my share until my finances are disentangled from his.

However, divorcing would reduce my entitlement to a share of his pension. I took many years out of the workplace to look after our kids and support his career, so have very little pension, whereas he has an excellent one.

And I worry that divorce papers might make him a lot less accommodating and I'd end up regretting not waiting until it was an actual necessity.

Should I/shouldn't I?

fuckwitteryhasform Sat 15-Nov-14 15:03:43

Why don't you divorce and have a pension sharing order as part of the divorce? You should after a long marriage be entitled to 50 per cent which you can put in your own pension. speak to a solicitor

BrowersBlues Sat 15-Nov-14 15:04:50

I recommend that you go and see a solicitor to see where you stand. Once you are armed with the information you can consider your options.

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