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In laws have ditched us for Christmas Day.

(171 Posts)
TheLyingOldBitchAndHerWardrobe Sat 15-Nov-14 13:35:32

Pils have been to is for the past two years and were invited this year.

SIL (married to their other son) sent me a weird text the other day about having invited them to hers so they weren't alone on Christmas Day. I immediately replied and said but they are coming to ours? She replied with ok then. So I figured it was just a miscommunication.

Mil phoned dh this morning and said she hopes we don't mind but as SIL has invited them as well they are going there as they haven't been there before on Christmas Day. Dh said of course we don't mind.

Well actually I fucking well do mind. I turned down an invitation from my side of the family because we were hosting the PILs. We will now be spending the day just us which I've never done and IMO will be fucking boring. SIL is also having her parents. My family is now committed elsewhere and there is no room for us (we are a family of five).

I'm fucking raging. Dh won't hear a word against his parents but I think they are rude ignorant fucking arseholes for this. Would never ever say that in rl and we do all get on well.

Is it me? This is shockingly rude of them and SIL, isn't it?

TheLyingOldBitchAndHerWardrobe Sat 15-Nov-14 13:36:55

First line should obviously say 'pils have been to OURS'

AnyFucker Sat 15-Nov-14 13:37:19

Had your PIL actually agreed to come to yours or had you assumed they would ?

AnyFucker Sat 15-Nov-14 13:38:17

I would consider it a result though to simply have Xmas Day with my own little nuclear family

I fecking hate the big family things

Bowlersarm Sat 15-Nov-14 13:38:44

No I don't think they're rude ignorant fucking arseholes.

Just tying to keep everyone happy by the sounds of it.

TheLyingOldBitchAndHerWardrobe Sat 15-Nov-14 13:38:58

We officially invited them about a month ago. But it's been a standing invitation all year. There's definitely no confusion. SIL has just decided to invite them knowing they had said they'd come here and pils have assumed we won't mind.

FreakinScaryCaaw Sat 15-Nov-14 13:39:50

We always have Christmas just the four of us. Why will it be boring?

TheLyingOldBitchAndHerWardrobe Sat 15-Nov-14 13:40:01

If this had all been said a few months ago I could have spent Christmas with my side of the family. I said no thank you to them because pils were coming here.

somewheresomehow Sat 15-Nov-14 13:40:18

Did you make assumptions on the past visits or did you ask them their plans for this year?
Don't see why your raging tho, at least they haven't left it till a few days beforehand

Bowlersarm Sat 15-Nov-14 13:40:24

Could you go as well to BIL & sil's?

FreakinScaryCaaw Sat 15-Nov-14 13:41:20

No Op said Sil and bil are full up now. Do you get on with them anyway OP?

JellyBabiesSaveLives Sat 15-Nov-14 13:41:37

Is SIL feeling left out about her parents always going to your house? Is it possible that you organise your life way earlier in the year than she does hers, and therefore she never gets a chance to do what she wants?

StampyShortnose Sat 15-Nov-14 13:41:43

I think you are being v unreasonable tbh. Your pils had not accepted your offer, you just assumed they would come.

And your pils have every right to spend some xmases with you and some with their other sons/daughters.

TheLyingOldBitchAndHerWardrobe Sat 15-Nov-14 13:41:55

No assumptions. We had a specific conversation about three weeks ago inviting them 'officially' but many conversations throughout the year about it.

LadySybilLikesCake Sat 15-Nov-14 13:42:12

You can have a lovely Christmas without them. You get to watch your DC open their presents, you get to have a peaceful meal and a few days without having to tend to the whim of others. Sounds like bliss to me. Pop to M&S and get some 'open and whack them in the oven' veg/potatoes etc so you can spend the time drinking gin playing games with your DC.

TheLyingOldBitchAndHerWardrobe Sat 15-Nov-14 13:42:14


Unexpected Sat 15-Nov-14 13:42:24

Do they know it's a standing invitation? Perhaps they wished to spend some time with their other child? Perhaps they thought they were doing you a favour by not assuming that they would be coming to you for the third year in a row? Honestly, it's very hard to keep people happy. There are multiple threads on here about people craving a Christmas with just their own family without having to entertain the PILs for the umpteenth year in a row. Oh, and your language is appalling!

CarmelasFridge Sat 15-Nov-14 13:42:48

It wouldn't bother me.

AnyFucker Sat 15-Nov-14 13:43:01

I think you are making too much of Xmas, sorry

FelicityGubbins Sat 15-Nov-14 13:43:27

Why is spending Christmas day with just your DH and children shit? I hate all the in law drama about Christmas and the one law I laid upon getting married is that it was always just us on Xmas day, with no guests and no visits either, absolute bliss and we have never argued about Xmas (the only thing we have never argued about!)

BeenThereGotTheTShirt Sat 15-Nov-14 13:43:28

Why would you assume they'd want to spend every Christmas with just one son - surely it is more usual to alternate families i.e. you spend one xmas day your DH's extended family and the next with your family.

TheLyingOldBitchAndHerWardrobe Sat 15-Nov-14 13:44:16

SIL has never invited them or wanted them because she doesn't do hosting and finds it stressful. This has literally come out of nowhere and feels like a swipe. She has been off and weird with me for months.

NickiFury Sat 15-Nov-14 13:44:52

Boring? With five of you? How do you manage the rest of the time?

There will be three of us on Christmas Day (lone parent) ex will come in the morning for a couple of hours to see dc and then we will be alone again. I can't wait smile.

LadySybilLikesCake Sat 15-Nov-14 13:46:11

You are being harsh on them, sorry. For the past 15 years it's just been ds and I for Christmas. All I do is clean up paper, cook and eat (on, and we go to the Panto, watch movies, make mince pies etc). You have your family (your DH and your DC) to share it with. It doesn't matter that you don't have a house full (thank fuck for that to be honest), Christmas is what you make it.

FreakinScaryCaaw Sat 15-Nov-14 13:46:20

Sil must've found some confidence in hosting from somewhere?

I agree you're making too much of Christmas. But then again I am pretty laid back about it so who am I to say?

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