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When does it all go away?

(5 Posts)
babybearsmummy Sat 15-Nov-14 12:47:26

NC as a few people on here know me in RL. But I'm a regular.

Long story short when I was 17 I started a relationship with a guy (I won't say "man", as he wasn't) who gradually got more and more abusive and controlling. After 2 years, I managed to eventually leave him and move away.

I'm now almost 24 and have a beautiful family, very secure in the knowledge that nothing like I went through will ever happen again. But I sometimes (once or twice a month) have dreams/ nightmares about my ex. They are often very realistic and I'll wake up thinking I'm back in the house with him and get very panicked. I've woken up in states where I must have been holding my breath in my sleep etc.

Recently I think I may have also had a panic attack. DP, DD and I were driving home from shopping and as we entered our village, there was a man on the path in the distance who looked liked my ex; same hair colour and cut, same style coat, same manner of walking. My blood ran completely cold and I came over in a cold sweat, clammy hands, couldn't breathe, I felt like I was going to pass out. Luckily as we passed the man, I was able to see him properly and it was definitely not him.

Now, I know it's been almost 5 years, so my ex may look completely different and I now live in a tiny village miles away, so the likelihood of him walking through it is next to none. But I was wondering if anyone else has experienced similar. When will the dreams and worry go away?

babybearsmummy Sat 15-Nov-14 12:48:13

Ok, NC hasn't worked. hmm Nevermind!

Rachela88 Sat 15-Nov-14 14:25:15

Hi Hun sorry to see your suffering like that! Perhaps have a chat with a doctor,have you got any family/friends to confide in? It's perfectly natural to have these nightmares after what you wet through

Hobby2014 Sat 15-Nov-14 14:30:09

Not an expert but first thought is maybe therapy or counselling? I would have thought your gp can direct you.

Willow45 Sat 15-Nov-14 15:13:48

Anyone with experience of long term sulking and (I think) passive-aggressiveness? I need some perspectives please.
Boyfriend of 2.5 years (we live together) not spoken to me since Thursday. I had to work late, had no opportunity to phone and tell him. Rather than being, sit down, let me get you a drink, you must be tired, I got, you could have called, you've ruined my evening. Then the next day, by text he insisted that the reason he was off the previous night was because he is insecure (his wife left him for another man) therefore me being late made him think things. Basically, that rather than working I was shagging someone else. So where's the trust? I am deeply insulted. Still getting the cold shoulder. I have nothing at all wrong here. Usually, I am the one to make the peace (had horrendous divorce myself, promised myself, I wouldn't do the shouting and screaming thing again). But I just can't say sorry about something I haven't done. I can't, it would mean I am trampled on forever. What on earth is going on? His mother says just ignore him, he'll come round, but what about me, I'm furious.

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