Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

To feel truly loved

(8 Posts)
Spidergirl8 Fri 14-Nov-14 21:07:19

I want to try and work out in my own mind whether love exists where you feel another person would do anything for you, where there's a connection between the two of you, when the other knows what you're thinking. The kind of relationship where the person you are with knows what really hurts you and would never use that in anyway against you.
I sometimes wonder whether my ideas on this are influenced too much by the media, films. I'm told it doesn't really exist, especially in relationships that are over 10 years old.
The strains of having kids, life challenges and the like really seems to take its toll and sometimes I find if very hard not to feel quite lonely. Perhaps this is just me though, anyone care to debate?

cogofmetal Fri 14-Nov-14 21:55:45

I have always found love to be subjective, defined directly by the feelings and experiences you have as you grow up. For one person to love is completely different for another.

My friend once explained to me that love is to someone like a colour would be; is the colour red I see the same as the colour red you see?

For me love isn't that feeling of butterflies all the time, but knowing that when s**t hits the fan, you have someone to turn too.

doitall123 Fri 14-Nov-14 22:38:51

interesting one. I believe it's when you and the other person think exactly alike, want the same lifestyle, and feel the same way about absolutely everything. A soul mate. For instance, would you react the same way in a dangerous situation. Would you be willing to jump off a cliff for them ? If you would be willing to die for them, then you truly love them.

Heyho111 Fri 14-Nov-14 23:45:19

To me you don't have to have to have the same ideas, likes, views etc. you may disagree and argue sometimes. But you love this person for their good, boring and annoying ways. They are your best friend and someone you can confide in. You come together and support each other in crisis. And just know that whatever life throws at you , you will be there for each other. Sounds like slop I know but that's how I can only describe it.

Ludoole Sat 15-Nov-14 00:50:38

My dp and i have been best friends for 20 years (i was 18 he was 34). We have been a couple for 9.
He knows everything about me and i know he would never hurt me and i would never hurt him.
We are currently going through a very challenging time (he has terminal cancer). We dont love each other any more or less than we always have because of this.
Maybe we were just lucky that fate brought us together...i dont know.

I believe that some people are lucky to find their true soul mate. I know i have.
I can trust him with my life and if i could carry his illness for him i absolutely would.

Squidstirfry Sat 15-Nov-14 00:58:48

I think by 10 years into a relationship some "work" is involved in maintaining that true love feeling.

I don't believe it should be a lot of hard work, just a mindful and mutual thing, not taking your relationship for granted.

I feel truly and deeply loved by my dp.
But we are 'only' 3 years in, and expecting our 1st baby... I am realistic about how things may change years down the line.

Squidstirfry Sat 15-Nov-14 01:10:39

Ludoole - flowers so sorry...

JohnFarleysRuskin Sat 15-Nov-14 08:43:36

Oof I could never love someone who thought exactly like me about everything! That would be too weird, plus impossible, I'm always changing my mind.
I guess it's liking someone ie wanting to be around them, respecting them ie looking up to them on some things, and being attracted to them ie thinking they're gorgeous and deciding to commit to them ie putting them first...

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now