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Is it ok for them to take it out on my children?

(6 Posts)
saltnpepa Thu 13-Nov-14 21:29:47

There has been a lot of family disputes over the past few years but things have been particularly strained with my brother, his wife and their adult son. We have been seeing them occasionally but each time we see them they get cooler and cooler with our kids (3 and 6 years). The last time we saw them they didn't kiss our kids hello but everyone just stood about awkwardly. Then when we sat for lunch they didn't try to have much rapport with our kids but I caught their son pulling funny faces at a child on the next table while he had pretty much ignored ours. Then my dd tried to get my sil to do some colouring in with her by just talking to her about colours etc and the sil talked with her a bit but didn't join in when that was what dd was asking for. I don't think they should take their feelings about us out on our kids so I challenged my brother and said that I felt they were cool with our children and he said they had "mixed feelings" about our kids because of all the conflict us adults have been having. I was so upset and think it's completely wrong to behave like that, to be passive aggressive with children. I suppose it's a bit of an aibu?

AnyFucker Thu 13-Nov-14 21:31:58

Why are you socialising with twats like that ? confused

RaisingMen Thu 13-Nov-14 21:34:51

No you're not, and I would cut contact with him. What theyre doing is poisonous and your children don't deserve to be treated that way. I should imagine they felt confused and upset after that meeting, why would you want them around people like that?

PoppyWearer Thu 13-Nov-14 21:38:17

Definitely not ok to involve the children.

saltnpepa Fri 14-Nov-14 12:32:21

They have said that when there's bad feeling with adults it is normal that it affects how you feel about their children. I disagree, I have had times in life when things have been fraught with people but I have always been exactly the same with their children and I think suddenly not kissing children is passive aggressive, or am I being unrealistic and oversensitive? (that's what SIL says about me on this).

FelicityGubbins Fri 14-Nov-14 12:36:32

I think they are being pathetic twats, if I fall out with someone, I fall out with them and not completely different people (which is what your children are) if they got pissed off at the dog would they kick the cat too? hmm
Scrape them off...

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