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What does this say about a person, how they see their relationship and really feel about DH.

(123 Posts)
MyBrothersKeeper Thu 13-Nov-14 15:29:20

A GF has been on pill for years with no issues or baby scares. About a year after marriage, the now DW announces she’s pregnant with ‘no idea’ how it happened (starting a family hadn’t been discussed with DH). She wasn’t ill or on other medication. No question here of parentage child is defo his. However, GF cheated with OM when dating BF but denied it to him (but it did happen!!).
So, she got pregnant on purpose to try and cement relationship/trap DH, knowing that the truth about cheating would eventually come out and worried he’d be off???? Thoughts anyone.

SmilesandPilesOfPresents Thu 13-Nov-14 15:34:04

You, stay well away from it all

She's made her bed and it won't be long until shes laying in it. Stupid Cow.

Her DH, the poor sod, needs to find this out in his own time, but the quicker the better. He'll be ok in the end.

NorwaySpruce Thu 13-Nov-14 15:36:26

Your theory makes no sense at all.

A man or woman can walk away from any relationship, whether children are involved or not.

People do get pregnant on the pill.

If the man was overly concerned, condoms are his/your friend.

Thumbwitch Thu 13-Nov-14 15:37:13

My thoughts are, if it's not you, stay well out of it.
Even if it's a family member, stay well out of it.

Her getting pg is not your business either. It's a stupid thing to do though, if she honestly thinks he will be off if he finds out about her cheating - but then her moral compass is a bit off-kilter anyway, isn't it.

Quitelikely Thu 13-Nov-14 15:40:41

If a person gets pregnant deliberately without discussing it with the man prior, I think that's quite a horrific thing to do.

MothershipG Thu 13-Nov-14 15:40:49

All sorts of things can disrupt the pill's efficiency, you seem very anxious to look for something sinister.

They are already married so it's hardly entrapment.

Hopefully they had the baby conversation before the wedding.

If it was so important to the DH not to be getting his DW pregnant then he shouldn't have been relying on the pill alone.

Probably just a happy accident, happens to loads of people, what's the problem?

Vivacia Thu 13-Nov-14 15:41:11

You seem very well-informed for a third party. It's a little bit difficult to know what to say.

Diagonally Thu 13-Nov-14 16:14:14

Don't see how you can possibly know whether they had discussed having DC unless you are one of the parties involved.

NorwaySpruce Thu 13-Nov-14 16:15:49

If a person gets pregnant deliberately without discussing it with the man prior, I think that's quite a horrific thing to do

If a man can't take equal responsibility for contraception, he can't really play at being horrified.

TheHermitCrab Thu 13-Nov-14 16:15:58

My thoughts are it's none of your business. And that's as far as my thoughts go :/

Windywinston Thu 13-Nov-14 16:20:21

You'll never know if it was an accident or an "accident". Even if you knew for sure, what would that achieve, the pregnancy is still there?

So the DW cheated, the DH still chose to marry her, so he's obviously not great at listening to warnings therefore not likely to listen now. My advice - stay well out of it, you can't achieve anything good.

MyOneandYoni Thu 13-Nov-14 16:20:35

I don't understand why a married man is surprised at the possibility of starting a family.
Isn't that what most married couples do?

I thought we were all taught that no contraception is 100% reliable?

Windywinston Thu 13-Nov-14 16:22:37

If a man can't take equal responsibility for contraception, he can't really play at being horrified.

Generally I agree, but if two sensible adults in a committed relationship agree to use the pill as the only form of contraception, it's not unreasonable to be pissed off if the woman deliberately comes off it but fails to tell her partner. It's deception.

NickiFury Thu 13-Nov-14 16:24:21

It's utterly irrelevant how long anyone has been on the pill with no scares etc. it only takes once.

Your OP sounds like you're just gagging to find fault and something underhand going on with the woman involved and her pregnancy.

MajesticWhine Thu 13-Nov-14 16:25:09

He married her. That's quite a cementing of a relationship. So he's not been "trapped". Who knows, she might love him to bits and be sorry she ever cheated, or she might be a devious cow. Or even both.

NorwaySpruce Thu 13-Nov-14 16:26:17

In that case Windywinston one or other of the couple is not a sensible adult.

If a man absolutely does not want a child, he needs not to be relying on someone else to deal with contraceptives. And even then, nothing is 100%.

slithytove Thu 13-Nov-14 16:29:40

I was on the pill for ten years with no scares. Then I got pregnant.

I'd be gutted if my in law (mil or sil? Which are you?) felt like that about me.

Your op says nothing about the person, but lots about you.

Windywinston Thu 13-Nov-14 16:45:36

Norway - I agree he can't be pissed of at the pregnancy, but can be mightily pissed off about the deception. Anyway, the point is OP doesn't know and doesn't need to know.

Vitalstatistix Thu 13-Nov-14 16:50:32

My thoughts are a) how do you know she got pregnant on purpose and b) the husband has a choice - if he wants to leave, he can. There really is no such thing as trapped.

NoMarymary Thu 13-Nov-14 16:53:33

Op is a girl friend I think.

Just keep out. It's their relationship. I guess the W wouldn't be the first to accidentally or deliberately get pg while on (supposedly) the pill.

What happened with the cheating is in the past. Surely it is the strength of the relationship now that's important.

lemisscared Thu 13-Nov-14 16:56:30

Wtf either this woman is called sharon or you're not very nice.

Keep. Your. Nose. Out!!!

Only1scoop Thu 13-Nov-14 16:58:33

Which one are you in this scenario?

DoughnutSelfie Thu 13-Nov-14 16:58:42

Thoughts are:

You - beak out

DoughnutSelfie Thu 13-Nov-14 17:00:58

Only1 I reckon OP is writing aboot her brother and his wife.

bearleftmonkeyright Thu 13-Nov-14 17:03:15

They are married and starting a family. If she is a friend can't you, you know, be happy for them? confused

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