I have recently made contact with my birth father for the first time, and am having what seems to be the opposite problem to what many have described here. My parents separated amicably after my conception and I have no feeling of anger towards him. We met for the first time a few months ago and I had a really positive response from my father, who is now very keen to keep in touch and is coming on quite strong with his desires to have an ongoing relationship.
I have contacted lots of adoption agencies to ask for support, but am not eligible but I got some advice from one about planning a first meeting; things like don't go to a pub first, keep it short and light-hearted, don't introduce other friends and family etc. I think I inadvertently did everything wrong. We DID go to the pub, talk about fairly heavy topics, he met my friends and partner, and it was all very intense.
I am now struggling to respond to his enthusiasm as I am feeling horrible about the whole affair and can't quite understand my feelings. I have spent some time looking up about adoptees' stories, but haven't found anyone with a similar problem.
Apologies, I know that for some people who were rejected by their fathers this might seem like a weird problem to have and I am surprised at myself after so long of hurting because I imagined that he would reject me again. but now I have had what most people dream of, I am in pieces and can't understand what I am feeling.
I am so worried about hurting him, which seems ironic after he was the one who left.
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New contact with my estranged father. Why do I feel so crap?
5 replies
lapoubellerose · 13/11/2014 15:23
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