It seems I have accidentally caused an argument between DP and his ex.
They have 2 DCs. His ex is going away this weekend and he agreed that he would pick them up from school on Friday so she could get her train which would mean leaving work early. For some reason DP thought it was next weekend (they both say the other one is the one that made the mistake) and he has an important meeting on Friday that he has to be present for.
I offered to pick the DCs up from school and take them out for a couple of hours so DP could meet them later as I have flexitime (DP did not ask me to do this and they know me well and like me - I have taken them out on my own before) which DP was happy with. When he said this to his ex she has hit the roof. She has accused DP of trying to get out of his responsibilities and using me for childcare which isn't true. She is talking about cancelling her weekend which makes no sense to me.
I get on well with her and she has told me that she is really happy I get on with the DCs so well so no issues there.
I don't really understand her reaction. Especially as DP sees his children all the time and has dropped his plans at the last minute many times so she can have a night out.
Can any of you understand her reaction? Should I withdraw the offer?
I am as baffled as you are OP, the only reason I can think of is the way your DP said it to her, rather than the content of what he said iyswim, or it could be it is just a result of the earlier crossed wires.
If she wants to cut off her nose to spite her face by cancelling her weekend, let her. You haven't caused any argument here, they have got mixed up about dates, you are trying to help, ExW has kicked off. Not your problem.
I agree, keep your offer open but leave it up to her to decide whether she wants to cancel or not. There may be something going on that you're not aware of like she doesn't want to go for some reason but is in denial about it so has subconsciously messed up the plans.
Suggest to your DP that in future anytime arrangements are changed that he confirm it by text or email so that he can refer back to it.
There doesn't seem to be any logic behind this. Except perhaps she genuinely thinks your DP is trying to get out of the collecting from school. I'd just let it go and if she wants to cancel then let her. No point in making a bigger fuss. I agree with keeping the offer open and it's up to her whether she takes it up or not.