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brother in laws girlfriend issues

(15 Posts)
ladylala28 Wed 12-Nov-14 15:09:53

My husbands brothers girlfriend clearly has issues with my husband and myself. She has never said a single word to me and only ever hello once to my hubby. They have been together 3 years now. We gave xmas gifts and never even got a thank you or gift in return and at our wedding she didnt say a word to us! Walked straight past our table! Now she is pregnant and mother in law goes on like she is god and even going over hers for xmas of course no invite for us. I have also fallen pregnant and when we told his brother we just recieved a nasty text which was clearly from her. Im always polite even invited her to dinner but she never turns up. It would be easy to just ignore her if mother in law stopped pushing for us to be friends. My hubby and i agreed to just avoid and be polite at family gatherings but surely its not normal to be that rude? My brothers girl friend is lovely and polite (well normal) i just would of thought being the additions to the family she wouldnt see me as the enemy. Its my hubby i feel for as he feels like he lost his brother.

LineRunner Wed 12-Nov-14 15:13:31

I'd tell your MiL that she obviously doesn't like you, so you can't be friends if she doesn't want to be.

What was in the text?

Your DH needs to have a chat with his brother about civility.

ladylala28 Wed 12-Nov-14 15:26:58

The text was along the lines of dont expect help with it (it being our baby) and acusing us of copying them. We had been trying just over a year so way before they fell pregnant. Its just awkward and turning very silly its not hard to just smile and say hello. X

LineRunner Wed 12-Nov-14 15:33:45

I honestly wouldn't have the patience for nonsense like that. I'd leave them to it, and tell your MiL why.

But if your DH wants to try to have a heart to heart with his brother, then that could be revealing.

PlumpingUpPartridge Wed 12-Nov-14 15:37:31

Why on earth would you expect help with your baby from them? confused is your DH's brother the older sibling or something? Is she older than you? All I can think of is that she's got a bad case of resentful-elder-sibling-by-proxy.....

ladylala28 Wed 12-Nov-14 16:02:51

He is the younger brother but she is older than me by about 6 years i think. I know im pretty sure one of our mothers will babysit if needs be. I just think i will just let them get on with it. Hubby knows who is being silly so hey ho... at least we are a half hours drive away grin

PlumpingUpPartridge Wed 12-Nov-14 16:43:46

Ooh, this sounds interesting. Maybe her DH said something nice about you once and she's the paranoid sort. Do you get on well with your BIL?

Additionally, you're now COPYING HER by having a baby. You utter limelight-stealing bitch.

I think your SIL maybe have potential to be an utter nutjob. Not so great for you but potentially exciting for the rest of us!

imyourhuckleberry Wed 12-Nov-14 17:00:25

I find confronting these type if problems very difficult, but I think your husband needs to have a frank chat with his brother. would he feel comfortable approaching the issue?

ladylala28 Wed 12-Nov-14 17:03:53

Lol nut job yes :D well i was starting to think it was me but no i was right first te she is a odd ball. I know how selfish of me getting pregnant im so selfish grin

antimatter Wed 12-Nov-14 17:11:26

Show that text to your MIL!

ladylala28 Thu 13-Nov-14 11:00:57

I think thats the part that annoys me the most. My hubby doesnt want to upset his mum so wont show the text or tell her what they are like (bit spineless) so instead it looks like me. Ive told him if he doesnt tell her i will x

Castlemilk Thu 13-Nov-14 12:14:24

yes, tell his mum.

Look, this is all very simple. Right now, because nobody wants to upset anybody (except Sil From Hell) nobody really knows what's going on. But it doesn't need to be a big deal and doesn't need to upset your MIL.

Quite the opposite - your H is WRONG. Right now poor old Mil is wondering what the hell is going on and is being kept in the dark by everyone. Tell your H - all you need to do is explain that for whatever reason (and it might be quite compelling - maybe there are issues in their marriage, she could have problems that nobody knows about) your SIL clearly doesn't like you, and has sent a couple of nasty texts. Here they are. See MIL- clearly a bit bonkers. So, that's why we want to keep it low key. We don't want a family row, hopefully this will blow over, so do us a favour and don't try and push us together - we hope this will all come out in the wash and SIL will get over herself.

Easy. You two can explain yourselves, poor MIL can stop worrying that there's something going on she doesn't know about, and hopefully you can get to ignore SIL and keep your dignity. Telling MIL might make her sad that there's a problem, but not telling her is eventually going to really make her worry.

Hissy Thu 13-Nov-14 19:24:06

i'd fucking shine the beacon of truth on that bitch! don't you dare allow her to treat you like this!
call her out - personally - on everything she does and says against you.

vile creature (her)

RandomMess Thu 13-Nov-14 19:32:12

I too would keep it low key and just tell MIL that "SIL" seems upset that you're pregnant too and probably doesn't realise that you've been TTC for quite a while.

SIL is clearly a nut job but you need to maintain the moral highground so she has nothing against you and MIL can see the situation for what it really is.

Icantwaituntilxmas Thu 13-Nov-14 19:44:07

I would tell her mil about her 'issues' with you. Sounds as though she's manipulated your dh's brother. Since she's behaving like a bizarre child, I'd be tempted to piss her off at family gatherings, such as (loudly) "are you ok _ it's just you haven't talked to us all night?" or perhaps... "Received your text about the pregnancy... you sounded very ahem paranoid. Have you thought about going to the doctors to get some sort of medication perhaps?" ... admittedly, this would probably not be the best plan if no one else is aware of the way she's been speaking to you and your dh but I've come into contact with people like this... and plainly, they're just nasty and spiteful.

It might be a good idea to show people in the family who don't know about her behaviour the text - and tell them exactly what she's been doing. Hey, if she doesn't want to speak to you/your dh then why would she want to speak to the rest of the family? People like this deserve a taste of their own medicine.

This is probably a bit childish but so wish I had done this to some people in the past... grin

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